{"id":6136,"date":"2014-06-11T05:35:59","date_gmt":"2014-06-11T12:35:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=6136"},"modified":"2014-06-11T22:10:34","modified_gmt":"2014-06-12T05:10:34","slug":"my-emotional-attorney","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6136","title":{"rendered":"A nonversation with my emotional attorney"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You know, I don&#8217;t even give a shit. He should be making a grand gesture right now, and he isn&#8217;t, and it&#8217;s pissing me off on your behalf.<\/p>\n<p>I love that you are defending my emotional honor.<\/p>\n<p>I totally am. There is no one who is more on your side than I am.<\/p>\n<p>I know. I love that about you. But, really. It&#8217;s OK. <\/p>\n<p>No it isn&#8217;t. He should be here.<\/p>\n<p>He&#8217;s got a lot going on right now. <\/p>\n<p>He&#8217;s not even pretending to be interested.<\/p>\n<p>Sure he is.<\/p>\n<p>Pretending? Well, good. At least he&#8217;s smart enough to pretend.<\/p>\n<p>No, interested.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, really? How is he demonstrating his interest? It doesn&#8217;t seem to be manifesting itself in any sort of concrete way.<\/p>\n<p>No..<\/p>\n<p>And? And don&#8217;t tell me he&#8217;s busy.<\/p>\n<p>But he is busy.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s just an excuse. He would make time if  he thought you were important enough.<\/p>\n<p>I guess. It&#8217;s not like I haven&#8217;t used that line myself.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m sorry. I am all about you right now, and that means being totally against Mr. Hugging On Other People. If he does something that makes you happy, believe me, I will love him. If he doesn&#8217;t, I will want to tear him apart.<\/p>\n<p>The hugging thing didn&#8217;t mean anything.<\/p>\n<p>Really? You didn&#8217;t care?<\/p>\n<p>No. Well, yes. Of course I did. I didn&#8217;t like it. But he told me he was going with a group of friends.<\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t see a group.<\/p>\n<p>Give him a break! It&#8217;s not like we&#8217;re even seeing each other.  I would guess he&#8217;s seeing other people.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s what I mean. Why hasn&#8217;t he seen you yet? What is he waiting for? He shouldn&#8217;t want to see anyone else. Why is he seeing other people?<\/p>\n<p>I feel like I am being interrogated by my emotional attorney.<\/p>\n<p>Sorry. I&#8217;d like to be interrogating that asshole who can&#8217;t be bothered to make time to see you. I totally am your emotional attorney though.<\/p>\n<p>You really are. But it&#8217;s not like there&#8217;s some sort of big hurry.<\/p>\n<p>For you there isn&#8217;t, but there should be for him. He should be in a big fucking hurry. If he deserved you, he would be. Who could he possibly be seeing that would be better than you?<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know if he&#8217;s seeing anyone else or not. We haven&#8217;t talked about it. We aren&#8217;t seeing each other, so why would I be worrying about anyone else?<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t you care?<\/p>\n<p>Of course I do. But it&#8217;s not like we&#8217;re in a place where we should even be talking about not seeing other people. For one thing, we haven&#8217;t started seeing each other, which would normally have to happen before we talk about NOT seeing other people. Right?<\/p>\n<p>No. He doesn&#8217;t need to see other people right now.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t think you&#8217;re right about that. I wouldn&#8217;t want to dictate that at all at this point.<\/p>\n<p>But I&#8217;m not talking about what you tell him or don&#8217;t tell him. He shouldn&#8217;t even want to see anyone else. He should only want to see you.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s not fair, though.<\/p>\n<p>Fuck fair.  He should only want you. It&#8217;s not about what&#8217;s fair. It&#8217;s about being crazy about you, which he doesn&#8217;t appear to be.  <\/p>\n<p>We don&#8217;t even know each other yet. We&#8217;ll see. We&#8217;ll crash and burn, or we&#8217;ll be nuts about each other. Who knows.<\/p>\n<p>He&#8217;s too much of a dumb ass to even know he should be making a big effort.<\/p>\n<p>Objection noted. Shall we have some more cider?<\/p>\n<p>Definitely.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you for being my emotional attorney.<\/p>\n<p>Always.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You know, I don&#8217;t even give a shit. He should be making a grand gesture right now, and he isn&#8217;t, and it&#8217;s pissing me off on your behalf. I love that you are defending my emotional honor. I totally am. There is no one who is more on your side than I am. I know. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6136\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">A nonversation with my emotional attorney<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6136","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-1AY","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9597,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9597","url_meta":{"origin":6136,"position":0},"title":"Getting connected&#8230;","author":"Michelle","date":"March 29, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The opposite of love's indifference--the LumineersBrene Brown did a TED talk on the importance of something I am coming to appreciate more and more: vulnerability. She started looking at what makes people feel connected, and why some people are more successful at it than others. Why some people are more\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11400,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11400","url_meta":{"origin":6136,"position":1},"title":"To tell the truth","author":"Michelle","date":"April 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"To tell you the truth, I don't know you well enough to tell you the truth --Shall We Dance Telling the truth can be somewhat subjective, but trust is more or less absolute. Or maybe it's more like this:\u00a0 \u00a0truth is a graph with a much wider axis than trust.\u00a0\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Random thoughts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2824,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2824","url_meta":{"origin":6136,"position":2},"title":"300 Acres of Lonely","author":"Michelle","date":"December 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"When she walks in the front door, there is nobody there. At first, that was a relief. He wasn't there anymore, and she didn't have to pretend that she was glad to see him. She didn't have to pretend that she was the cheerful person he married. After a year,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7644,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7644","url_meta":{"origin":6136,"position":3},"title":"An imaginary conversation about dating","author":"Michelle","date":"September 24, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You know what I would like to know? What? How do you even know when you're on a date and not just out with a friend of the opposite sex? Seriously? I'm a dating dumb ass. Humor me. Are you making out at some point after you've spent time together?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Imaginary Conversation&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9841,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9841","url_meta":{"origin":6136,"position":4},"title":"Losing interest. The true story","author":"Michelle","date":"April 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"It is true that I write a lot about men losing interest in me. \u00a0My imaginary conversations about it seem to always end well. That isn't the case in real life though.\u00a0 There are a lot of times when I go out on a date or two with someone and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9587,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9587","url_meta":{"origin":6136,"position":5},"title":"The personality of cheese","author":"Michelle","date":"March 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"It all started with dinner.\u00a0Paddy asked if I wanted Parmesan for my pizza. I declined. He asked Lily if she wanted some, she said ewww because she is 8.\u00a0Cheese, Paddy said, is good on everything.\u00a0I concurred.\u00a0\"Is it good on apples?\"Yes.\u00a0\"Salmon?\"Yes, cream cheese.\u00a0\"Beer?\"Maybe not beer.\u00a0\"Gas cans?\"Are they clean gas cans?\"Let's say\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6136","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6136"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6136\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6136"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6136"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6136"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}