My dear, I don’t give a damn.<\/p>\n
—Rhett Butler<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Oh well, whatever, nevermind.<\/p>\n
—Nirvana\/Smells Like Teen Spirit<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n
I think we all know that Rhett really did<\/em> give a damn about Scarlett.\u00a0 He was too filled with grief to have a discussion about his feelings at the moment, but he certainly wasn’t indifferent.<\/p>\nI sometimes find myself getting all\u00a0 riled up about something and then saying “whatever, I don’t care” when it’s pretty obvious that I do. And why is that? Why is it sometimes easier to throw out a “nevermind” than to actually let someone know that you do care, or that you have an opinion?<\/p>\n
One\u00a0 common reason is that, like Rhett Butler,\u00a0 you’re too tired either physically or emotionally to get into any sort of a hassle. If you admit to caring about something, and it turns into a big discussion or argument, it might not end well. It’s usually better to have a discussion when you’re well rested and not an emotional basket case.<\/p>\n
At other times, it’s simply more expedient not to care. Maybe you’re having dinner with a group of people. You’d love to have Thai, but some of the others say they want Mexican, but don’t want Mexican if you don’t want Mexican. They want everyone to be in happy agreement.\u00a0 It’s probably the tequila.\u00a0 You take a position of “whatever” just so\u00a0 dinner will actually happen at some point. In a group, sometimes everyone is so busy trying to be nice to each other, that unless someone pretends not to care there will be no progress. Think of it as indifference for the common good.<\/p>\n
Then there’s the bane of our teen years–pretending not to care about something you do<\/em> care about because you want someone to like you.\u00a0 You don’t care what movie you’re going to see (whatever he picks is wonderful!) or what you watch on TV (yes, I love<\/em> to watch sports 24 hours a day!) or where you eat because you don’t want him to know that anything you might think could possibly differ from what he thinks. Most of us eventually outgrow this, but I know a few adults who still suffer from it. Suffer being the operative word, since they never<\/em> get to do anything they want! And, it’s their own damn fault. Sack up, people–no one likes someone they don’t respect, and most of us don’t respect people who never have opinions of their own. Really.<\/p>\nThe ugliest reason to pretend not to care is when you’re talking with someone who doesn’t play nice. Maybe they’re chemically altered and belligerent. Maybe they always yell instead of having a civilized discussion. Maybe they are one of those people who is never wrong. Maybe they are even physically violent when someone has a differing opinion. Stating a position you care about could end up in a big argument, or worse. The “thing you care about” needs to be pretty important in this case. These are the kind of people you probably don’t want to be around unless their behavior is very, very<\/em> occasional and not physically violent.<\/p>\nAnd of course sometimes, just sometimes, you actually don’t care.<\/p>\n
Which in anything but a small dose can be deadly.<\/p>\n
Not literally.<\/p>\n
Just to your Being.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So be careful with it.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My dear, I don’t give a damn. —Rhett Butler Oh well, whatever, nevermind. —Nirvana\/Smells Like Teen Spirit I think we all know that Rhett really did give a damn about Scarlett.\u00a0 He was too filled with grief to have a discussion about his feelings at the moment, but he certainly wasn’t indifferent. … Continue reading Vive l’indifference<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-a6","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":599,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=599","url_meta":{"origin":626,"position":0},"title":"A very incomplete list of things I am thankful for. Very. Incomplete.","author":"Michelle","date":"July 31, 2013","format":"status","excerpt":"Liquor stores, bars and taverns.\u00a0 All those pretty bottles\u00a0 make us feel happier, even if it's only temporary.\u00a0 Gratitude extends to beer, wine and all forms of adult beverages consumed in bars or in private residences. \u00a0 Blue skies. \u00a0 Trees. \u00a0 The Pacific Ocean. \u00a0 Books. \u00a0 Music. \u00a0\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7607,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7607","url_meta":{"origin":626,"position":1},"title":"Stuff I have learned in the last year","author":"Michelle","date":"September 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Be yourself Don't pretend No one is all bad or all good Telling people what you want is scary, but sometimes actually results in getting what you want Tell people you love them Love people Never assume bad intent Be kind to yourself Give people a chance. More than one.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2500,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2500","url_meta":{"origin":626,"position":2},"title":"Never mind. Nevermind.","author":"Michelle","date":"November 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Where is my mind? Where Is My Mind ? Where is my mind? --Pixies\/Where Is My Mind Some things are like throwing confetti up in the air and expecting it to come back into your hands in one piece instead of flying away. Things are always what they are. No\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2981,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2981","url_meta":{"origin":626,"position":3},"title":"Nevermind-ful","author":"Michelle","date":"December 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm not ready as I'll ever be I climb the walls, I fall into the sea I'm not ready as I'll ever be And I suppose your guess is more or less as bad as mine All over but the shouting, just a waste of time Never mind --the Replacements\/Never\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":432,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=432","url_meta":{"origin":626,"position":4},"title":"What’s Your Favorite Book?","author":"Michelle","date":"July 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPicking five favorite books is like picking the five body parts you'd most like not to lose.\u201d --Neil Gaiman \u00a0 Seriously. \u00a0 It's hopeless. For one thing, there's the sheer number of books that are wonderful. People have been writing them for a long, long time you know. The end\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":391,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=391","url_meta":{"origin":626,"position":5},"title":"Hand in Hand","author":"Michelle","date":"July 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Don't ask me to apologize I won't ask you to forgive me If I'm gonna go down You're gonna come with me Hand in hand. --Elvis Costello \u00a0 This doesn't do much to explain my belief system unless I'm explaining through opposites. (Good band name, Explaining thru Opposites) I've always\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=626"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}