{"id":681,"date":"2013-08-04T06:20:09","date_gmt":"2013-08-04T13:20:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=681"},"modified":"2013-08-07T20:48:32","modified_gmt":"2013-08-08T03:48:32","slug":"we-interrupt-this-blog-for-a-news-bulletin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=681","title":{"rendered":"We interrupt this blog for a news bulletin"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

I coulda had class.<\/p>\n

I coulda been a contender.<\/p>\n

I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it.<\/p>\n

—On the Waterfront<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If there was such a thing as Competitive Sloth, after medalling in the Sloth Olympics, I’d be a first round draft pick of a professional\u00a0 Sloth team. I’d get a DNF in all events because I am just that fucking good\u00a0<\/em> at it, and I’m pretty sure that a DNF* in a Sloth event would be like a platinum medal.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I would be the Babe Zaharias of Sloth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And people say I have no goals.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oh.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That isn’t a goal?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Alright then.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Carry on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0mumble…I do have class though…and I’m not a bum.<\/h6>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*DNF=Did Not Finish<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it. —On the Waterfront     If there was such a thing as Competitive Sloth, after medalling in the Sloth Olympics, I’d be a first round draft pick of a … Continue reading We interrupt this blog for a news bulletin<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-aZ","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6957,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6957","url_meta":{"origin":681,"position":0},"title":"Gone to the beach. Nothing can get to me. Wa ha ha haaaaa","author":"Michelle","date":"August 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"About 45 minutes ago, I arrived at my secret beach location, turned on the water, turned on the electricity, made ice cubes, put the wine and beer in the fridge, unpacked the relatively few snacks, made the bed, walked the 112 steps down to say hello to the ocean, haystack\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/IMG_7653.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/IMG_7653.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/IMG_7653.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/IMG_7653.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/IMG_7653.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":10864,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10864","url_meta":{"origin":681,"position":1},"title":"Going fallow","author":"Michelle","date":"November 5, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I have a head for business and a body for sin. Unfortunately, the sin appears to be gluttony. --Jenny Colgan \u00a0 Curiosity is gluttony. To see is to devour. --Victor Hugo \u00a0 The other night, as I was binge watching \"the Shahs of Sunset,\" I decided something: my brain is\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7840,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7840","url_meta":{"origin":681,"position":2},"title":"Some of us need to chill out and stop being so mean","author":"Michelle","date":"October 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"There are times when it is really hard for me to be nice. Sometimes to other people, but mostly to myself. It is an ongoing thing. I think I am doing better, and then suddenly I am not. This is one of the not so good weeks. Today I walked\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6319,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6319","url_meta":{"origin":681,"position":3},"title":"Ordinary things","author":"Michelle","date":"June 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"They had an ordinary life, full of ordinary things-if love can ever be called that. --Leigh Bardugo\/Ruin and Rising This was the happy ending of a book in which two people with extraordinary abilities lost nearly everything except love. No, I am not going to talk about beginnings and endings\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/20140622-133748-49068136.jpg?fit=454%2C313&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":493,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=493","url_meta":{"origin":681,"position":4},"title":"Who are you, anyway?","author":"Michelle","date":"July 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWhat's your name,' Coraline asked the cat. 'Look, I'm Coraline. Okay?' 'Cats don't have names,' it said. 'No?' said Coraline. 'No,' said the cat. 'Now you people have names. That's because you don't know who you are. We know who we are, so we don't need names.\u201d --Neil Gaiman\/Coraline \u00a0\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":548,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=548","url_meta":{"origin":681,"position":5},"title":"Losing my religion","author":"Michelle","date":"July 29, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I haven't said enough I thought that I heard you laughing I thought that I heard you sing I think, I thought, I saw you try But that was just a dream --REM\/Losing My Religion \u00a0 I lost my religion gradually while I was a teenager. As a child, I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Music"","block_context":{"text":"Music","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=9"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=681"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/681\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}