{"id":6835,"date":"2014-08-01T05:30:31","date_gmt":"2014-08-01T12:30:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=6835"},"modified":"2014-08-02T14:57:07","modified_gmt":"2014-08-02T21:57:07","slug":"thinking-yourself-out-of-happiness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6835","title":{"rendered":"Thinking yourself out of happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think and think and think, I\u2018ve thought myself out of happiness one million times,but never once into it.
\n–Jonathan Safran Foer<\/p>\n

Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.
\n–John Stuart Mill<\/p>\n

Be. <\/p>\n

Then, be happy.
\n–Someone I used to know<\/p>\n

I became aware of just how fleeting the sense of happiness was, and how flimsy its basis: a warm restaurant after having come in from the rain, the smell of food and wine, interesting conversation, daylight falling weakly on the polished cherrywood of the tables. It took so little to move the mood from one level to another, as one might push pieces on a chessboard. Even to be aware of this, in the midst of a happy moment, was to push one of those pieces, and to become slightly less happy.
\n–Teju Cole\/Open City\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Everywhere I am lately, in my reading, all I see is happiness. People talking about how fragile and fleeting it is. People trying to find it. People talking about how difficult it is to be happy. <\/p>\n

My first reaction is to agree. Then I pause for a second and consider it and find that I don’t really agree at all. <\/p>\n

One thing is true for me: overthinking, as much as I enjoy it, has never really resulted in happiness for me. <\/p>\n

Enjoyment, yes, often. I like to think. To turn something over in my head and see how many sides it has. How many points of view there are, and what I like and dislike about them. <\/p>\n

Tears, frequently. Which doesn’t necessarily preclude enjoyment. I have nothing against crying, except when I cry when I feel angry and powerless because it makes me invisible. When it happens when I need to make a serious point about something, it makes that completely impossible.<\/p>\n

But does that mean that I find it difficult to be happy? Not at all. In even the most unhappy and difficult times of my life, I am happy for more hours in the day than I am not. <\/p>\n

I have laughed at more than one funeral. Even the worst day at work will find me smiling and laughing with my colleagues. When I was in the hospital with third degree burns, I was happy watching all of the various medical people do torturous things to my arm. That might have been the morphine. If it rains, I am happy about warm blankets. If it’s hot, it’s Popsicles. There is always a lot to be happy about in a life as easy as mine. <\/p>\n

If I was abused, poor, uneducated? I can’t really answer that. Maybe I would be less happy. <\/p>\n

But I don’t think (ha) that thinking automatically lessens happiness. In fact, if thinking is not abused, maybe it can even add to it. <\/p>\n

For instance, I am writing from my back porch. Enjoying a bit of a breeze and an IPA, watching the baby bluejays try to fly out of my rhodie, watching the big fat bumblebees buzz around in the lavender. I am not doing a very good job concentrating on the writing. Sorry. I am very happy, all alone in my back yard. <\/p>\n

Are there things that could possibly make this even better? Yep. <\/p>\n

Am I thinking about them? Yep. A little. If they are out of my control, I move on. Johnny Depp is not going to come and have a beer with me. He just isn’t. That thought doesn’t lessen my happiness though. <\/p>\n

If it could be a little bit cooler outside, it would be awesome. So noted. Am I even a little unhappy about that? Nope. <\/p>\n

Would it be nice to be enjoying this hookah with someone? Yep. Could I think about that in a way that would make me less happy? Absolutely. It could turn into a suck fest of being unlovable and dying a sad lonely death. Is that happening as I think about it? Nah. It’s kind of making me laugh. Recognizing a needlessly dramatically gloomy thought and laughing at it tends to take the stinger right out of it. <\/p>\n

If I can think my way out of happiness, surely I can think myself right back into it.<\/p>\n

Tonight I don’t seem to need much help with it.
\nJust happy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think and think and think, I\u2018ve thought myself out of happiness one million times,but never once into it. –Jonathan Safran Foer Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so. –John Stuart Mill Be. Then, be happy. –Someone I used to know I became aware of just how fleeting the sense … Continue reading Thinking yourself out of happiness<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6835","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-1Mf","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8445,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8445","url_meta":{"origin":6835,"position":0},"title":"On getting out of the happiness mafia","author":"Michelle","date":"December 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I can't tell one from the other I find you, or you find me? There was a time before we were born If someone asks, this is where I'll be, --Talking Heads\/This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) The Modern American World really wants us all to be happy. All\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11577,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11577","url_meta":{"origin":6835,"position":1},"title":"Vicious circles with happiness","author":"Michelle","date":"May 29, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"In much the same way that badness engenders more badness, happiness creates more happiness. ...and sex creates more sex. This is something I have been getting a lot of experience with lately. Sex or happiness? Never mind that. It's like a vicious circle, only it isn't vicious, it's happy. Well,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6345,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6345","url_meta":{"origin":6835,"position":2},"title":"How to measure happiness","author":"Michelle","date":"June 27, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Don't you think it's better to be extremely happy for a short while... than to be just okay for your whole life? --Audrey Niffenegger\/the Time Traveler's Wife It's an important question, don't you think? It's a question that would determine a lot of things about how you live your life.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/20140624-174657-64017215.jpg?fit=454%2C313&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5716,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5716","url_meta":{"origin":6835,"position":3},"title":"The secret to happiness or indifference and why writers are screwed","author":"Michelle","date":"May 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The secret to happiness is letting everything be what it is instead of what you think it should be and accepting it. --Every Fucking Guru People who write are doomed to be unhappy because they think too much --the Daily Beast The happiness gurus say the secret to happiness is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/20140513-212504.jpg?fit=320%2C240&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3482,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3482","url_meta":{"origin":6835,"position":4},"title":"Being infected by joy","author":"Michelle","date":"January 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The other day in fat camp we were talking about the human tendency to focus on the negative, and some possible biological reasons for it. For instance, if you've almost been eaten by a grizzly, you really need to make sure you've learned a lesson or you may not survive\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5458,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5458","url_meta":{"origin":6835,"position":5},"title":"What I wonder about, wide awake 0200","author":"Michelle","date":"April 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Somehow, through the days I don't give in I hide the tears That wait within But then through sleepless nights I cry again --F. and B. Bryant\/Sleepless Nights Words. I wonder about words. Specifically: I wonder if there is a certain number of words that you have to know in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6835","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6835"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6835\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6835"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6835"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6835"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}