Last Friday, I was at the Sportsman’s Pub with two of the boys. (Have I mentioned yet today that I miss them?) As we were ordering, Kyle wanted extra limes in his drink. I ordered something on the side with my dinner, and we joked about being high maintenance. <\/p>\n
Then I was wondering what that even really means. <\/p>\n
Getting a mess of limes in a drink that already calls for lime doesn’t seem to qualify. Probably not my side of mayo for my fries, either. <\/p>\n
What does?<\/p>\n
Getting a bunch of limes for a drink that doesn’t normally include them?<\/p>\n
Maybe. <\/p>\n
Asking to have half the ingredients of a dish substituted and the rest served on the side?<\/p>\n
Probably. <\/p>\n
But obviously, it isn’t a very serious life problem if you are only high maintenance in a way that is mildly annoying in a bar or restaurant. Especially if you tip well.<\/p>\n
There are people who require a lot of attention and energy to keep them going. Maybe a woman needs several hours a day to keep up her appearance. Maybe she needs constant attention and emotional reinforcement to feel her friends, family and lover value her. Maybe he has to have only the most up to date toys. Maybe he is only satisfied with a woman who stays home and irons his sheets,cooks him dinner and dedicates all of her attention to him. <\/p>\n
I’m obviously not high maintenance as far as my looks go. I can roll out of bed and be ready to leave for an adventure or work within 20 or 30 minutes. I’m not picky about my clothes. I don’t care about cars, jewelry, or having any of the usual trappings of success. While I do occasionally get a massage or a pedicure, on a day to day basis I have a sore neck and polish my own nails. I live in a small house which I clean myself. <\/p>\n
Well. Clean is a relative term. <\/p>\n
I do have rather an expensive haircut, but my stylist rolls her eyes at me because I don’t blow it out or even actually brush my hair a lot of the time. <\/p>\n
No one would ever think of me as fancy. <\/p>\n
So why am I even thinking about the idea of being high maintenance?<\/p>\n
Because for some reason I keep thinking I must be. I am not quite sure why, even after considering it. And it kind of niggles at the sides of my mind. I’ve only had on person call me high maintenance and it was because he thought I needed too much of his time and attention. He thought I was too needy. <\/p>\n
He’d seem vaguely annoyed if I made plans with my friends and wasn’t available when he did get around to calling, and then act like I was being too needy when I pointed out that if he returned my calls he might have been the one I had plans with instead. But he always made a big point of pointing out that I should go out and do my thing. <\/p>\n
I didn’t ever think that he actually cared one way or the other. I figured that if he wanted to see me, he could let me know ahead of time. Maybe make an effort. If I was in need of reassurance about his feelings, it was because there were so many signs that his feelings were indifferent ones. <\/p>\n
The irony is that normally I get the opposite reaction–that I am too prone to wanting to be alone. That I am too detached and solitary. Maybe emotionally unavailable. <\/p>\n
In the end, I just didn’t think I wanted to be a convenience to him any more and I didn’t want to feel like I was emotionally high maintenance for wanting him to pick up the phone and talk to me. <\/p>\n
Like everyone, sometimes I do need reassurance. In a rough patch, I might even need quite a bit of it. <\/p>\n
If you care about someone, aren’t you happy to provide it?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"