{"id":7252,"date":"2014-08-28T05:30:35","date_gmt":"2014-08-28T12:30:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=7252"},"modified":"2014-08-27T21:29:10","modified_gmt":"2014-08-28T04:29:10","slug":"wishing-hoping-not-praying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7252","title":{"rendered":"Wishing, hoping, not praying"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m high but I’m grounded
\nI’m sane but I’m overwhelmed
\nI’m lost but I’m hopeful, baby
\nAnd what it all comes down to
\nIs that everything’s gonna be fine, fine, fine
\n–Alanis Morissette\/One Hand In My Pocket<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The age old question: can you influence how things turn out?<\/p>\n

It seems so fucking obvious that you can. I mean, if I want tomato plants and I don’t plant them or buy them, I am very unlikely to have them. Unless…
\nIf I believe in a deity, and it’s in her ineffable plan, she will provide them. Someone will just stop by with them, or a friend will have extras. <\/p>\n

But. <\/p>\n

Well. <\/p>\n

That’s asinine. I mean, I hate to disrespect anyone’s beliefs, but pre-determinism just. Ugh. It’s dumb. (Wow. Well stated.)<\/p>\n

Doesn’t it make you wonder?<\/p>\n

The whole idea of predetermination just kind of rankles, right? You can do what ever harebrained or cruel thing you want, because everything will turn out the way it is supposed to. Free will? Bah, humbug. <\/p>\n

It is the one thing that sort of makes me wish I believed in a heavenly referee handing out penalties. I mean, having a rule book would come in really handy. <\/p>\n

Still, I do wonder. <\/p>\n

It would really take the stress out of absolutely everything if that is what you believed. I think I will go on believing in muddling through as best as I can while trying not to be too much of a douche. <\/p>\n

Love the people who deserve it, forgive the ones who don’t and maybe still love them anyway. They are probably just muddling through, too. Maybe eventually they’ll get the message about not being douches. <\/p>\n

Tell the people you love how you feel, including the creeps. I suspect it pisses them off. <\/p>\n

The only thing I am really sure of? Everything will be fine, fine, fine. <\/p>\n

And I will die at some point.
\nNot just me. You, too. <\/p>\n

And for some reason, those Facebook quizzes never suggest philosophy as a career for me. Weird.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m high but I’m grounded I’m sane but I’m overwhelmed I’m lost but I’m hopeful, baby And what it all comes down to Is that everything’s gonna be fine, fine, fine –Alanis Morissette\/One Hand In My Pocket The age old question: can you influence how things turn out? It seems so fucking obvious that you … Continue reading Wishing, hoping, not praying<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-1SY","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5530,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5530","url_meta":{"origin":7252,"position":0},"title":"As the worm turns, an imaginary conversation","author":"Michelle","date":"May 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You don't scare me, you know. Do too. Aren't you going to ask me why? Why? Curiosity? About why you aren't scared of me? No. Yes. What? You are scared of me. I terrify you. Terrify is a strong word. Sometimes I don't know quite what to make of you.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Imaginary Conversation"","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8870,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8870","url_meta":{"origin":7252,"position":1},"title":"The gift that keeps on giving…doubt","author":"Michelle","date":"January 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The unfair thing about people who fuck you over is this: Even though I am making so much progress in being more open and more trusting of people, and even though most people haven't done a damn thing to earn the slightest bit of doubt from me, and even though\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/20140706-191531-69331077.jpg?fit=454%2C313&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10160,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10160","url_meta":{"origin":7252,"position":2},"title":"Blaming myself for what other people feel","author":"Michelle","date":"June 8, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\"you are only responsible for your own feelings\" \"You choose to react the way you do. I am not responsible for how you choose to feel\" We already know that I have limited patience with people who tell me that I choose to react the way I do to their\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5925,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5925","url_meta":{"origin":7252,"position":3},"title":"New beginnings","author":"Michelle","date":"May 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Every new beginning comes from some other new beginning's end... --Closing Time\/Semisonic There are some changes, big ones, going on in my life right now. The kind that are scary, difficult, and hurt people. Hopefully with better lives as a result. It's generating a lot of supportive messages from people\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/20140525-200635-72395601.jpg?fit=850%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/20140525-200635-72395601.jpg?fit=850%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/20140525-200635-72395601.jpg?fit=850%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/20140525-200635-72395601.jpg?fit=850%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6195,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6195","url_meta":{"origin":7252,"position":4},"title":"Some weeks take a bigger chunk out of you than others","author":"Michelle","date":"June 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Usually I am one of those people who sort of skips blithely through life without incurring much damage. 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