You know what?<\/p>\n
No. <\/p>\n
Do you want to?<\/p>\n
Sure. <\/p>\n
You don’t sound very enthusiastic about it!<\/p>\n
Maybe I will warm up as the conversation progresses. <\/p>\n
No pressure. <\/p>\n
None. <\/p>\n
OK. <\/p>\n
So are you going to tell me?<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
The thing you were starting to say. <\/p>\n
Right. What was it?<\/p>\n
Uh…<\/p>\n
It’s not like it was a show stopper. <\/p>\n
OK. <\/p>\n
I was just wondering about something. <\/p>\n
Should I be worried?<\/p>\n
About what I might say? Always. <\/p>\n
About whatever particular thing is on your beautiful mind right this minute? <\/p>\n
You don’t ever worry about anything. <\/p>\n
I try not to. <\/p>\n
It kind of pisses me off. It would be more flattering if you worried sometimes. <\/p>\n
Noted. <\/p>\n
Creep. <\/p>\n
Sorry. <\/p>\n
That you’re a creep?<\/p>\n
Do you really think I am a creep?<\/p>\n
Are you worried about it?<\/p>\n
Sigh. <\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
You are a very odd woman. <\/p>\n
Thanks. <\/p>\n
See? Most people don’t think that’s a compliment. <\/p>\n
You didn’t mean it in a nice way? You sounded sort of admiring and impressed. <\/p>\n
Right. Impressed. Exactly. I do like almost everything about you…<\/p>\n
What don’t you like?<\/p>\n
Never mind that. You had something to say which I am sure was very important. <\/p>\n
Way to deflect!<\/p>\n
How ’bout those Ducks!?<\/p>\n
Oh! That’s what I was going to tell you!<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
Devon Allen knows how to wiggle his ears. <\/p>\n
The wide receiver?<\/p>\n
Uh huh. He’s adorable, fast, can jump hurdles, catch a football AND wiggle his ears. He is definitely in the running to be my imaginary football boyfriend this year. <\/p>\n
Good to know. <\/p>\n
Well, since I don’t have a real boyfriend, I might be spending more time than usual on the selection. <\/p>\n
I didn’t realize this was something that was important to you. <\/p>\n
It is. <\/p>\n
What does the position entail?<\/p>\n
For the imaginary boyfriend?<\/p>\n
Yeah. <\/p>\n
Nothing. I might wear a jersey with his number on it. Mostly I cheer for them and refer to them as my imaginary football boyfriend at tailgaters. <\/p>\n
I see. You don’t meet them and have a secret handshake or anything. <\/p>\n
No, I wish! That would be cool. It’s all currently strictly imaginary. <\/p>\n
Who else is in the running?<\/p>\n
Chance Allen. I might pick both of the Allens. <\/p>\n
Who else?<\/p>\n
The other option is the offensive line. <\/p>\n
All of them?<\/p>\n
They never get any love, and I like Mooses as much as anyone. <\/p>\n
When will you decide?<\/p>\n
I need to decide before the first game!<\/p>\n
Well. Get some rest. You don’t want to make such an important decision of you aren’t well rested. <\/p>\n
Thanks for understanding. <\/p>\n
You’re welcome. <\/p>\n
Why are you shaking your head?<\/p>\n
Go Ducks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"