So, what did you end up having for dinner tonight?<\/p>\n
Popcorn. <\/p>\n
Popcorn? Just popcorn?<\/p>\n
Popcorn and a salad.<\/p>\n
And a salad?<\/p>\n
Why are you repeating everything I say?<\/p>\n
Because it seems sort of unlikely. <\/p>\n
Unlikely?<\/p>\n
Now you’re doing it!<\/p>\n
Sorry. <\/p>\n
Don’t be. So why popcorn?<\/p>\n
I was all stressed out when I should have been thinking of something to have for dinner. When I stopped being stressed out, I didn’t feel like cooking, so I made a salad. Then I was still hungry, and I still didn’t feel like cooking. I don’t do well with food and stress. <\/p>\n
Why not? Food is just food. What were you stressed out about?<\/p>\n
Should we have this same conversation about why you smoke? The reasons could be very similar. <\/p>\n
It’s an addiction, and it feels good. <\/p>\n
What made you start in the first place? It probably didn’t feel good to start with. <\/p>\n
We aren’t talking about me right now, Duchess Deflection. <\/p>\n
There isn’t much else to say about my dinner menu. <\/p>\n
We aren’t really talking about the menu, we’re talking about why you make certain choices that are not very good for you. <\/p>\n
You are. I am not. <\/p>\n
Fair enough.<\/p>\n
Talking about it just makes it worse. <\/p>\n
Makes what worse?<\/p>\n
It. That nebulous It that makes me eat too much, drink too much, and obsess about things. <\/p>\n
Shouldn’t talking about it help?<\/p>\n
Should I feel bad about talking not helping me in addition to whatever residual awesome feelings I might already have about the poor choices in general?<\/p>\n
What? No! I just meant that maybe talking about it would help, and I am a good listener I hear. (Get it?)<\/p>\n
Got it. The thing is, making the right choices, or rather healthier ones, is super simple. It is. Any child knows the basics of a healthy diet. Any even semi-educated adult knows many, many different ways to cope with stress that don’t involve overeating or drinking. So when you don’t do these super-simple things, you tend to feel like a moron.<\/p>\n
You aren’t a moron. <\/p>\n
No, but I feel like one a lot of the time because although I am a very smart person, I am pretty much unable to deal with my feelings in a way that isn’t at least a little bit self destructive. <\/p>\n
You think having popcorn for dinner is self destructive? That’s a little excessive, don’t you think?<\/p>\n
Yes, it is excessive and yes, I do think. I think the problem is that I can only deal with a couple of emotional issues at a time. Any more than that, and things leak out around the edges. And I almost always have more than 2 things going on at any given time. <\/p>\n
Most people do.<\/p>\n
No one ever said I was emotionally competent. <\/p>\n
You are one of the most competent people I know in almost every possible way, except being kind to yourself. <\/p>\n
I know, I know. That is why my mantra is “give yourself a fucking break.”<\/p>\n
You should. Give yourself a fucking break, and don’t give up on yourself. <\/p>\n
Well, I am nothing if not persistent. It’s just harder with eating because everything is a trigger: being happy, being sad, being restless, being excited, being lonely, being with people, a celebration…Plus, I just like food.<\/p>\n
So what are you going to do about it?<\/p>\n
When things calm down a bit, I will start to deal with it again. Somehow. I mean, it’s not rocket science. It’s just not eating. <\/p>\n
Some people have the opposite problem. <\/p>\n
Yes, and the world loves them. <\/p>\n
Well, I love you. <\/p>\n
And I love you right back. You’re good people. <\/p>\n
Ditto.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"