I know I am still more than a little socially moronic now, but you didn’t know me when I was really bad. <\/p>\n
You didn’t talk to anyone all night!<\/p>\n
I smiled at people, and followed their conversations. Tried to follow. I don’t pick out voices very well in a crowd. I have a hard time in big groups. <\/p>\n
More than one of my friends asked me if you were mad. <\/p>\n
Was I unpleasant to anyone? <\/p>\n
No, but you weren’t very sociable. <\/p>\n
Know why?<\/p>\n
Why?<\/p>\n
Because I am not very sociable. I don’t expect you to be tall when we go somewhere, do I?<\/p>\n
I can’t help being the height I am. <\/p>\n
And I mostly can’t help not being more social. I am not only introverted, but also shy. I did talk to people a little bit, but it is difficult for me. <\/p>\n
It isn’t that hard to chat with people. <\/p>\n
Not for you, you enjoy it. I don’t. <\/p>\n
You just make it harder than it needs to be.<\/p>\n
Like you do when I want to sit and read quietly and you want to be doing something constantly?<\/p>\n
I can’t sit still. It makes me crazy. You know that. <\/p>\n
I can’t make conversation with large groups of people. It makes me crazy. You know that. <\/p>\n
It’s not the same at all!<\/p>\n
I know, because I accept that there are differences in people. You think the things that are different about me are flaws that I need to correct. When you get fidgety sitting still, I let you know you don’t have to sit with me and it’s OK for you to go do something. When I have trouble interacting with people, you think I need to do better. <\/p>\n
I do?<\/p>\n
You do. <\/p>\n
There’s nothing wrong with making things better, is there?<\/p>\n
Better for which one of us?<\/p>\n
Oh.<\/p>\n
There are a lot of overtly anti-social things I don’t do anymore. I don’t knit in public, even though it actually makes it easier for me to talk to people because I have something to do other than focus on how awkward I am. <\/p>\n
It freaks people out. <\/p>\n
Right. It also makes it a lot less stressful for me to socialize when I have something to do with my hands, but wasn’t worth arguing about because people got hostile about it. <\/p>\n
Including me. <\/p>\n
Including you. <\/p>\n
So you think I am being unsupportive?<\/p>\n
No, but I don’t think you are very accepting of who I am. You’d rather have me be different. <\/p>\n
I think you are great!<\/p>\n
Except for my actual personality. <\/p>\n
I want people to like you. <\/p>\n
Even if I have to be someone different?<\/p>\n
No. Is that what you think?<\/p>\n
How many times have you mentioned have great it would be if I was more outgoing? <\/p>\n
It would be. <\/p>\n
To me that is just like saying how great it would be if I was a different person. <\/p>\n
I don’t mean it that way…<\/p>\n
No. I know, but it still sucks. You need to figure it out. <\/p>\n
What do you mean?<\/p>\n
If being a life of the party type is that important to you, then you need to know that I am never going to become that. I don’t even want to.<\/p>\n
I want you to be yourself, but…<\/p>\n
But you don’t, not really.<\/p>\n
I didn’t realize it bothered you that much. <\/p>\n