Hey, how are you feeling?<\/p>\n
Better, not great. I think I am going to live!<\/p>\n
When you’re sick, do you think you are a whiner?<\/p>\n
Not really. I mean, everyone whines a little..but I don’t think I am excessive about it. <\/p>\n
No?<\/p>\n
Do you disagree?<\/p>\n
Uh…<\/p>\n
Really?<\/p>\n
You talk a lot about dying for someone with a cold…<\/p>\n
That isn’t whining. It’s being melodramatic. <\/p>\n
Is there a difference?<\/p>\n
Of course!<\/p>\n
Care to explain it?<\/p>\n
I don’t know if I want to. It wasn’t very nice of you to imply that I am a whiner. Why are you concerned about my disposition anyway? You don’t have to be anywhere near me in either sickness or health. You are in a uniquely privileged position to avoid any flare ups of illness related defects in my temper entirely. <\/p>\n
Is that what you meant about being dramatic?<\/p>\n
Melodramatic, and no. That was being sarcastic with a little tinge of snideness. A soup\u00e7on of churlishness. <\/p>\n
Bringing out all the fancy words? Just for me?<\/p>\n
Just for you. You inspire my vocabulary. <\/p>\n
Good to know. <\/p>\n
Any time.<\/p>\n
So, are you?<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
Whiny when you’re sick?<\/p>\n
I hate you. <\/p>\n
Clearly you’re hostile….<\/p>\n
I have a cough that can be heard from Canada, and I feel like I have been run over by a fleet of semi trucks. Whiny is the least of my worries, and yes that<\/em> was fucking dramatic. <\/p>\n Huh. You’re a lot easier to pick on when you’re sick. There isn’t really any challenge to it. It seems unsporting to go on. <\/p>\n You are a bad, bad person. You should be kind to the infirm. <\/p>\n You like me. <\/p>\n Not at the moment. <\/p>\n Always. <\/p>\n No. I always love you, but I dislike you quite often. <\/p>\n You dislike me? How often? Is it a regular thing?<\/p>\n I will send you a pie chart graph of my feelings when I am better. <\/p>\n A rough estimate. <\/p>\n 55% of the time. <\/p>\n Ouch! Really?<\/p>\n That does seem high. I will have to start a daily log. If I am going to go through the trouble of creating a chart, I may as well go full insanity on it…<\/p>\n What are you going to use to quantify your dislike?<\/p>\n I don’t know. I haven’t ever graphed it before. What would you recommend?<\/p>\n A daily scale of 1-5?<\/p>\n Simple. Do you think it’s too basic?<\/p>\n No. <\/p>\n OK then. There’s a problem though. <\/p>\n Only one?<\/p>\n Shush. <\/p>\n What’s the problem? <\/p>\n I usually only dislike you intensely for very short periods. It might be hard to capture in a graph. <\/p>\n How short?<\/p>\n Minutes, sometimes. <\/p>\n Why is that?<\/p>\n Right now you are humoring me in my bizarre plan to graph how much I dislike you. That makes me like you. It’s endearing. You do shit like that almost every time I dislike you. <\/p>\n Irresistible, I am. <\/p>\n It really pisses me off. <\/p>\n Sorry. <\/p>\n Are not. <\/p>\n No, I am not. <\/p>\n I think I am going to drink a pint of codeine and go to bed. <\/p>\n Good night, Drama Queen. <\/p>\n Good night, Creep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"