{"id":8540,"date":"2014-12-19T05:00:37","date_gmt":"2014-12-19T13:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=8540"},"modified":"2014-12-19T09:16:47","modified_gmt":"2014-12-19T17:16:47","slug":"chinks-in-our-armor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8540","title":{"rendered":"Chinks in our armor"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let’s do it. Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.
\n–Love, Actually<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Vulnerability, I’m finding, seems to be a really important piece of being a happy human being. In order for people to connect, they have to see each other on a fairly deep level. They have to really know who they are inside. They have to trust the other person not to sack their emotional village.<\/p>\n

And trust, initially, involves blind faith. In order to know if you can trust someone, you have to just trust them and see what happens. <\/p>\n

Of course it has to be balanced. You want to be vulnerable in spots, like Achilles, as opposed to being a door mat that anyone can tear up as much as they want. When I talk about being open and vulnerable, I don’t mean defenseless. We have to protect ourselves while still letting people see us.<\/p>\n

This is what I am wondering about right now. I am feeling particularly vulnerable and am wondering if I am doing something really stupid. Trusting someone I shouldn’t. <\/p>\n

One of those mind vs heart cage matches, and I am listening to my heart. <\/p>\n

My brain says I am a fool. <\/p>\n

If I’m wrong, it will hurt. If I’m right, though…
\nAnd wouldn’t you rather be hurt for giving someone one too many chances than not giving them a chance at all?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let’s do it. Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love. –Love, Actually Vulnerability, I’m finding, seems to be a really important piece of being a happy human being. In order for people to connect, they have to see each other on a fairly deep level. They have to really know who … Continue reading Chinks in our armor<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6550,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8540","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/20140706-191531-69331077.jpg?fit=454%2C313&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-2dK","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6016,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6016","url_meta":{"origin":8540,"position":0},"title":"Being naked","author":"Michelle","date":"June 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"What the people who don\u2019t wear shades don\u2019t know is that some of us wear shades because they\u2019re all that stop us being eye-naked \u2014 forced to gaze, unprotected, at the wet and bleeding face of reality as it squirms and pulses and writhes like a razor slicing a child\u2019s\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/20140531-234853-85733494.jpg?fit=454%2C313&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11400,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11400","url_meta":{"origin":8540,"position":1},"title":"To tell the truth","author":"Michelle","date":"April 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"To tell you the truth, I don't know you well enough to tell you the truth --Shall We Dance Telling the truth can be somewhat subjective, but trust is more or less absolute. Or maybe it's more like this:\u00a0 \u00a0truth is a graph with a much wider axis than trust.\u00a0\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9710,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9710","url_meta":{"origin":8540,"position":2},"title":"Trust and risk","author":"Michelle","date":"April 4, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Trust and riskI guess the point is, there is no trust without risk. If it were EASY\u2026I mean, if it was all a guaranteed walk in the park, if there wasn\u2019t a real risk that someone would cross the line\u2026then it wouldn\u2019t be real trust.--Amanda Palmer\/the Art of AskingIn my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9428,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9428","url_meta":{"origin":8540,"position":3},"title":"Trust in the online dating world","author":"Michelle","date":"March 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Trust is something I write about a lot, I know. It's just that I've been teaching myself how to do it again, and although I've been pretty successful for the most part there are still some challenges.Like when to stop. How many chances does someone get? I try not to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7447,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7447","url_meta":{"origin":8540,"position":4},"title":"Consolation prize","author":"Michelle","date":"September 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"In your world, I have no meaning Though I'm trying hard to understand And it's my heart that's breaking Down this long distance line But I ain't missing you at all. --John Waite\/Missing You At this point in my life I'd like to live as if only love mattered As\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8391,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8391","url_meta":{"origin":8540,"position":5},"title":"Unconditional love and trust","author":"Michelle","date":"December 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"We might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us. --Magnolia It's not going to stop until you wise up. --Aimee Mann\/Wise Up Conditional love is: I will only love you if you love me. Unconditional love is: I will love you even if you do\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8540","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8540"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8540\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6550"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8540"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8540"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8540"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}