{"id":9065,"date":"2015-01-21T05:00:18","date_gmt":"2015-01-21T13:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=9065"},"modified":"2015-01-20T21:12:22","modified_gmt":"2015-01-21T05:12:22","slug":"simultaneous-sadness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9065","title":{"rendered":"Death, cat pee and ink stains"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Not only are there no happy endings,” she told him, “there aren’t even any endings.”
\n–Neil Gaiman<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The notice that the divorce was final came in the mail on the same day she faxed in the paperwork to have her father cremated. There were technical difficulties, and she got ink all over her hands and dress trying to clear a jam in the printer. Which seemed a bit unfair, since it wasn’t even her printer in the first place.<\/p>\n

It was, she thought, not a propitious start to the New Year in the traditional sense. For someone like her? It was ideal. Rife with possibilities for testing her newly resolved upon positivity and desire to see silver linings in every situation.<\/p>\n

She had also resolved to be the sort of person who used words like rife and propitious openly instead of only thinking them. The sort of person who doesn’t assume that other people won’t understand what she is talking about. The sort of person who doesn’t assume that other people don’t have good vocabularies. A devil-may-care sort of person.<\/p>\n

If she couldn’t find silver linings in Death and Divorce, then she clearly was not trying hard enough. After all, endings and beginnings are exactly the same thing, and everyone loves a good beginning. Or something. Right?<\/p>\n

She wasn’t sure if there was a silver lining in getting ink on her favorite dress though. For someone her size, it wasn’t going to be easy to find one she looked as pretty in, and that stain was never going to come out completely.<\/p>\n

What else doesn’t come out completely, she wondered?<\/p>\n

Cat pee. You scrub and scrub, but every time it dries out the stain and smell come back. <\/p>\n

Maybe it was OK not to find a silver lining in the dress, but it would be pretty cool if it actually had a silver lining. Stiff, though.<\/p>\n

Silver is antimicrobial. Maybe it would keep cat pee from smelling if it did<\/em> get on things. Like her stiff dress. <\/p>\n

Her third resolution was to become the sort of person who was more focused and goal oriented. She would be laser sharp. Or was it razor? Always right on task. What were you supposed to use to get ink out? Was it hair spray? She wasn’t sure she had any hair spray now that her hair was short. <\/p>\n

Some day she would figure out that there was not a thing wrong with the person that she already was. This would be quite a surprise to her. Considering how much thought she gave to her own flaws, the only real surprise was that she would be surprised about anything about herself at all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Not only are there no happy endings,” she told him, “there aren’t even any endings.” –Neil Gaiman The notice that the divorce was final came in the mail on the same day she faxed in the paperwork to have her father cremated. There were technical difficulties, and she got ink all over her hands and … Continue reading Death, cat pee and ink stains<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9065","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-2md","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6302,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6302","url_meta":{"origin":9065,"position":0},"title":"It’s the end of the world as we know it…","author":"Michelle","date":"June 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNot only are there no happy endings,' she told him, 'there aren't even any endings.\u201d --Neil Gaiman\/American Gods Is it really that there are no endings, or is it just that you really don't know when something has really, truly, definitely ended until you yourself have ceased to be? In\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/20140620-181722-65842051.jpg?fit=454%2C313&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5160,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5160","url_meta":{"origin":9065,"position":1},"title":"Polysyllable girl","author":"Michelle","date":"May 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"If I had a baby She'd have a thesaurus Instead of a rattle And a dictionary Instead of silver spoons She'd read books in the womb Crying at sad endings Lusting after vampires While learning to speak French Even before she's born She could out-curse sailors On any continent Polysyllable\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/20140511-151652.jpg?fit=300%2C207&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":8638,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8638","url_meta":{"origin":9065,"position":2},"title":"Bad experiences as a catalyst for good","author":"Michelle","date":"December 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"and I... I love it when you read to me. And you... You can read me anything. --The Magnetic Fields\/The Book of Love \u201cNot only are there no happy endings,\" she told him, \"there aren't even any endings.\u201d --Neil Gaiman\/American Gods In an imaginary conversation the other day, I mentioned\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4806,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4806","url_meta":{"origin":9065,"position":3},"title":"Body writing","author":"Michelle","date":"April 5, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I started to watch a movie several years ago called \"the Pillow Book.\" In the movie, a Japanese woman has a bit of a calligraphy fetish, and wants her lovers to write on her body. Eventually, she meets the character played by Ewan McGregor and thinks he's great in bed,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8915,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8915","url_meta":{"origin":9065,"position":4},"title":"New experiences for the New Year","author":"Michelle","date":"January 9, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I made a pot of chili for game day, and it all got eaten. That is definitely a first. Kyle, Rick and Chelle all golfed on a course that was frozen solid for the first time. We discovered that golf balls bounce really high on a frozen course. We also\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_2470-0.jpg?fit=341%2C391&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6319,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6319","url_meta":{"origin":9065,"position":5},"title":"Ordinary things","author":"Michelle","date":"June 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"They had an ordinary life, full of ordinary things-if love can ever be called that. --Leigh Bardugo\/Ruin and Rising This was the happy ending of a book in which two people with extraordinary abilities lost nearly everything except love. 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