{"id":9148,"date":"2015-01-24T05:00:32","date_gmt":"2015-01-24T13:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=9148"},"modified":"2015-01-23T21:28:36","modified_gmt":"2015-01-24T05:28:36","slug":"one-catastrophe-too-many-or-straw-meets-the-camels-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9148","title":{"rendered":"Straw, meet the camel’s back.."},"content":{"rendered":"

I didn’t know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of the throat and I’d cry for a week.
\n–Sylvia Plath\/The Bell Jar\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It is not a secret that the last few weeks have been challenging. <\/p>\n

Big stuff. Death. Divorce. Diarrhea. Vomiting. The Full Meal Deal of bad times. No big tears, though. No outbursts. I was coping remarkably well, all things considered. <\/p>\n

What killed me, finally?<\/p>\n

A clogged kitchen sink spewing swamp water all over me when I ran the garbage disposal.<\/p>\n

Funny how we can cope and cope and cope until one little thing has us sitting on the kitchen floor clutching a plunger and bawling like a baby. <\/p>\n

All I needed was one day without a problem or event. One. In that cute way Life has of throwing curve balls, I got sprayed with dirty water instead. I was probably back talking some minor deity or something earlier that day. I probably deserved it. <\/p>\n

Sometimes, Life is a dick. <\/p>\n

I must have had a great cry though, right? It must have been great to get it all out. You’d think so, but no. I couldn’t even have my emotional collapse properly.<\/p>\n

My emotional response to the very minor issue of the clogged sink was so over the top that I ended up laughing at myself and ruining everything. I didn’t even get to have the Seriously Big Cry I was hoping for. <\/p>\n

Laughter. Bah.
\nNothing ruins a Seriously Big Cry more quickly than self mocking laughter. <\/p>\n

Next time, I am going to cry anyway. I don’t care how much I laugh at myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I didn’t know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of the throat and I’d cry for a week. –Sylvia Plath\/The Bell Jar It is not a … Continue reading Straw, meet the camel’s back..<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8959,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_2470-0.jpg?fit=341%2C391&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-2ny","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7870,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7870","url_meta":{"origin":9148,"position":0},"title":"Crying at movies? I wish…","author":"Michelle","date":"October 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed And I wanna crawl in with you But I cry instead --Love Ridden\/Fiona Apple Two drifters, off to see the world There's such a lot of world to see We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' round the bend My Huckleberry\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/20140706-191531-69331077.jpg?fit=454%2C313&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3997,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3997","url_meta":{"origin":9148,"position":1},"title":"About tears","author":"Michelle","date":"February 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You feel the tears filling your eyes. You don't try to stop them. You just let them come. Then you notice how everything shimmers just before they begin to spill from your eyes, one by one and how they cling to your eyelashes. You can feel each individual tear fall.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2492,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2492","url_meta":{"origin":9148,"position":2},"title":"I fall to pieces","author":"Michelle","date":"November 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"They say they'd die for love and then they live it out They'll give you something to cry about And suddenly you really fall to pieces... --Elvis Costello\/Town Cryer Everyone has different ways of coping with excess emotion. Some people pace. Some people bit their nails. Some people yell. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6835,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6835","url_meta":{"origin":9148,"position":3},"title":"Thinking yourself out of happiness","author":"Michelle","date":"August 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I think and think and think, I\u2018ve thought myself out of happiness one million times,but never once into it. --Jonathan Safran Foer Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so. --John Stuart Mill Be. Then, be happy. --Someone I used to know I became aware of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8170,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8170","url_meta":{"origin":9148,"position":4},"title":"Big moments","author":"Michelle","date":"December 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10078,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10078","url_meta":{"origin":9148,"position":5},"title":"Thank you #58","author":"Michelle","date":"May 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The moment I let go of it was the moment I got more than I could handle The moment I jumped off of it Was the moment I touched down.\u00a0 --Alanis Morrissette\/Thank U Someone chastised me recently for focusing too much on the things that are wrong about my life\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9148"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9148\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8959"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}