{"id":9212,"date":"2015-02-03T05:00:49","date_gmt":"2015-02-03T13:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=9212"},"modified":"2015-02-02T23:14:26","modified_gmt":"2015-02-03T07:14:27","slug":"gender-identity-sexuality-and-online-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9212","title":{"rendered":"Sexuality and online dating"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have yet to actually meet anyone in person from the online dating site I&#8217;ve signed up for. One near miss. <\/p>\n<p>What has happened is that I have gotten a lot of messages about my looks. Badly spelled messages. There are a handful of people who I will possibly meet at some point. <\/p>\n<p>And then there are the ones I really wouldn&#8217;t be interested in dating, but I have had some great talks with them online about their gender roles and sexual identity. <\/p>\n<p>A lot of us think of sexual preference as an either\/or. You like men or women and pick one. You are the gender you were born with, and you stay with that gender. For many people neither their gender identity or their sexual preference are that clear. <\/p>\n<p>There is a whole Queer world out there that a lot of people are unaware of. Or make fun of. I think of it as just another thing in life that is interesting and complicated. It&#8217;s a little hard for me to relate to because I can&#8217;t imagine wanting to be anything other than female. I haven&#8217;t ever wanted to be male. I love men, but it&#8217;s not who I want to be. It must be tremendously difficult to feel like you were born with the incorrect gender. <\/p>\n<p>OK. I am falling asleep. This is no time to write. <\/p>\n<p>My social life and writing are all out of balance. I need to try to do better.<br \/>\nGood night!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have yet to actually meet anyone in person from the online dating site I&#8217;ve signed up for. One near miss. What has happened is that I have gotten a lot of messages about my looks. Badly spelled messages. There are a handful of people who I will possibly meet at some point. And then &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9212\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Sexuality and online dating<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9212","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-2oA","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2537,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2537","url_meta":{"origin":9212,"position":0},"title":"The dating game","author":"Michelle","date":"November 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"There was this guy? And he looked like he might have been a hatcheck clerk In an ice rink. Which, in fact, he turned out to be. And I said oh boy. Right. Again. --Laurie Anderson\/Let X = X It has always been really hard to connect with new people\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/20131118-211037.jpg?fit=300%2C225&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11400,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11400","url_meta":{"origin":9212,"position":1},"title":"To tell the truth","author":"Michelle","date":"April 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"To tell you the truth, I don't know you well enough to tell you the truth --Shall We Dance Telling the truth can be somewhat subjective, but trust is more or less absolute. Or maybe it's more like this:\u00a0 \u00a0truth is a graph with a much wider axis than trust.\u00a0\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Random thoughts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9353,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9353","url_meta":{"origin":9212,"position":2},"title":"Online dating, the minus side","author":"Michelle","date":"February 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"So there is fair coverage, here is a look at some of the things about online dating that are not so great. It can be sleazy. With the right person, I have an extremely high tolerance for filth and perversion. But. But. Not if it is some random guy I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9428,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9428","url_meta":{"origin":9212,"position":3},"title":"Trust in the online dating world","author":"Michelle","date":"March 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Trust is something I write about a lot, I know. It's just that I've been teaching myself how to do it again, and although I've been pretty successful for the most part there are still some challenges.Like when to stop. How many chances does someone get? I try not to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2615,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2615","url_meta":{"origin":9212,"position":4},"title":"Dating game redux","author":"Michelle","date":"November 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Last Friday night We went streaking in the park Skinny dipping in the dark Then had a m\u00e9nage \u00e0 trois --Katy Perry\/Friday Night In my fairly long foray into the world of online dating, I had a lot of time to look at people's user profiles. Obviously, I looked at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9325,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9325","url_meta":{"origin":9212,"position":5},"title":"Online dating, the plus side","author":"Michelle","date":"February 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Just because you feel, hollow inside it's real I'm gonna put something in you Make the devil feel surprised --Mazzy Star\/All Your Sisters If someone has filled out their online dating profile in their own words and answered a representative sample of the entertainingly intrusive questions you can get a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_2470-0.jpg?fit=341%2C391&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9212","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9212"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9212\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9212"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9212"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9212"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}