Don’t you think it’s weird that people always say they never watch TV?<\/p>\n
Always never?<\/p>\n
Right. <\/p>\n
Some people really don’t watch TV. I hardly ever do, outside of football season. <\/p>\n
You watch old movies all the time. <\/p>\n
Does that count?<\/p>\n
Do you watch them on your TV?<\/p>\n
Sure, but they’re usually streamed. <\/p>\n
I think that counts. <\/p>\n
I guess I think of TV as broadcast shows, sports, that sort of thing. <\/p>\n
If your TV is on, and you are looking at it, you are watching TV. <\/p>\n
If you say so. <\/p>\n
I do. <\/p>\n
So why does it bug you when people say they don’t watch?<\/p>\n
It’s snobby. It’s fake. It’s pretentious. <\/p>\n
Ah. Even if it’s true?<\/p>\n
Especially if it’s true. <\/p>\n
Wow. I had no idea you felt this way. <\/p>\n
Well I do. <\/p>\n
So…<\/p>\n
So?<\/p>\n
Well…<\/p>\n
Oh. Yeah. I think you are kind of snobby and pretentious. <\/p>\n
Ouch. <\/p>\n
Sorry. <\/p>\n
No, it’s a fair assessment. <\/p>\n
So you aren’t offended?<\/p>\n
By truth in reporting your feelings? Nah. <\/p>\n
That is a relief. <\/p>\n
Keep that in mind the next time I point out why I think you are behaving like a douche. <\/p>\n
A reasonable request. <\/p>\n
I hope you don’t think I am unreasonable as a general rule…<\/p>\n
No, no. <\/p>\n
Oh, good. So would you ever date someone who says she never watches TV?<\/p>\n
I’m dating you, aren’t I?<\/p>\n
You are?<\/p>\n
I’m not?<\/p>\n
There will now be an awkward pause…<\/p>\n
We aren’t dating??<\/p>\n
I don’t think so. Let’s just skip over that part. So you would date someone who says she never watches TV?<\/p>\n
No. Not if she says never. You don’t say never. You say not very often. Women who say never suck. <\/p>\n
No, they just have other things to do. Like go out. Train for marathons. Learn about rocket science. <\/p>\n
No they don’t. <\/p>\n
They don’t?<\/p>\n
No. They sit around all day and feel superior to TV watchers.<\/p>\n
I think you might be a little harsh in that assessment. I didn’t have a TV for several years. No, I guess I had one…but it was a 13″ screen. <\/p>\n
THIRTEEN?<\/p>\n
Yep. And no cable.<\/p>\n
What point is there in having a TV that small?<\/p>\n
If I wanted to watch a movie, I could put in a video or DVD.<\/p>\n
Oh, it was back in the day!<\/p>\n
Sure. Late 90’s.<\/p>\n
It was probably someone’s bedroom TV.<\/p>\n
Maybe.<\/p>\n
Are you sure we aren’t dating?<\/p>\n
Pretty sure.<\/p>\n
Why not?<\/p>\n
Have we ever made out?<\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
Have you ever taken me to dinner someplace where we had to look nice?<\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
When we’ve spent the night in the same place, have you ever tried to sneak into my bed?<\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
Did you want to?<\/p>\n
Well…<\/p>\n
No, right?<\/p>\n
Well…<\/p>\n
We aren’t dating.<\/p>\n
Of course not, you’re too snobby for me.<\/p>\n
Now you’re being a douche.<\/p>\n
Sorry.<\/p>\n
Do you even WANT to date me?<\/p>\n
I guess not, now that you bring it up. <\/p>\n
Then it’s all fine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"