My number one favorite thing to do is kissing. <\/p>\n
You mean sexually?<\/p>\n
No, all around. <\/p>\n
Huh. Yeah, I guess I would rank it pretty high myself. <\/p>\n
You have to have priorities. <\/p>\n
That is why I negotiated it into a date. <\/p>\n
What? Isn’t kissing traditional in dating anyway?<\/p>\n
No, no. I mean yes. This is a first date though. Usually the kissing doesn’t come until the end. If at all. That’s silly. <\/p>\n
Silly? Why? Then you have something to look forward to. <\/p>\n
And I do love a good tease. <\/p>\n
Tell me more about that…<\/p>\n
No. <\/p>\n
Just a little?<\/p>\n
Maybe later. <\/p>\n
So. Kissing. <\/p>\n
Right. <\/p>\n
How does one go about negotiating a kiss?<\/p>\n
Well, I said I would buy drinks. He said if things went well, he’d buy me dinner. <\/p>\n
Isn’t that a risky move?<\/p>\n
It seemed a little demotivational to me. I mean, I am incentivizing date failure. It would benefit him financially to dislike me. <\/p>\n
Good point. Are you going to renegotiate the deal?<\/p>\n
I don’t think I will have to. I added a kissing clause.<\/p>\n
What does it cover?<\/p>\n
It is essentially a guarantee. <\/p>\n
How do you guarantee a kiss?<\/p>\n
Well you can’t really. There are too many completely subjective elements. I mean, you can really like someone’s pictures and the way they should on the phone, right?<\/p>\n
Right. <\/p>\n
But until you get pretty close to them, you don’t really know if you’ll feel that spark. <\/p>\n
Also right. <\/p>\n
And even then, until you kiss…<\/p>\n
You just don’t know until it happens or doesn’t. <\/p>\n
Right. Whatever “it” is. That is why I put in the clause. We kiss before we go into the bar. A serious kiss. <\/p>\n
Bold. You kiss someone you have never met?<\/p>\n
Yes. <\/p>\n
And what if it’s a disaster?<\/p>\n
Then all bets are off. No drinks. No dinner. No nothing. Even if only one of us is dissatisfied. <\/p>\n
Interesting. And if the kiss is amazing?<\/p>\n
Then we proceed with drinks, and then probably to dinner. I figure we already know we have things to talk about. If the kissing goes well, that pretty much is a lock for making it through to dinner. Unless he fakes it. <\/p>\n
That’s either total genius or the most asinine thing I have ever heard. <\/p>\n
Right?<\/p>\n
Where are you meeting?<\/p>\n
You can’t be there. <\/p>\n
Oh, c’mon!<\/p>\n
No way. I do not need a heckler. <\/p>\n
More of a protector and admirer. <\/p>\n
Admirer? Not really. <\/p>\n
Protector and friend. <\/p>\n
Two very good things. And still no. <\/p>\n
Be careful. <\/p>\n
It’s just a kiss. <\/p>\n
No such thing. <\/p>\n
Also true. It’ll be a new experience. <\/p>\n
Just what you need. <\/p>\n
New experiences are good for me.
\nI hope it goes well. I haven’t been to Paley’s for a long time. <\/p>\n
Fancy!<\/p>\n
More importantly, if we make it to dinner that means the kissing passed the test. And there could theoretically be even more of it. <\/p>\n
Like on a second date? <\/p>\n
Stranger things have happened. It’d be a new record. <\/p>\n
Let me know when you get home. <\/p>\n
Thanks for worrying about me!<\/p>\n
Any time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"