<\/p>\n
Mara was not a morning person. She’d also had a very eventful night, what with Samael wrestling Evil right there in the bedroom and all. So it was really not a surprise when she stumbled on the enormous dog that was sleeping on the floor next to her bed. She hadn’t had any coffee yet, so she couldn’t really be blamed for it. She sort of remembered that there was a new hell hound in the house. What was a surprise was when she stumbled on another one in the middle of the bedroom door. <\/p>\n
“Samael?”<\/p>\n
“Yes, my treasure?”<\/p>\n
“There seem to be quite a few hell hounds in the bedroom this morning. Did I miss a memo about increasing hell hound populations in our area?”<\/p>\n
“There are only two of them, my treasure. The mate of the female arrived while you were sleeping. I did not wish to wake you. They cannot be separated. They are a bonded pair. They are both yours now.”<\/p>\n
Two of them. Mara sighed and hoped that angels had access to a source of inexpensive hell hound chow, because feeding two of these giants was going to be a completely unexpected drain on her budget. She wondered what they ate, and how much. While she made coffee, she also hoped vaguely their usual diet didn’t include small children, livestock or expensive automobiles. <\/p>\n
She walked back over to the one by the bed once she had enough coffee on board to think more or less coherently. The male. She scratched his neck behind the ears like you would with any dog. He liked it. He nuzzled his head into her belly and wagged his tail politely. He had a cute stubby tail, like a Rottweiler. <\/p>\n
“What are their names?” she asked. <\/p>\n
“They do not have names which are known,” Samael replied, “and if they were to become known, one would never speak them aloud.”<\/p>\n
“Of course one wouldn’t. One wouldn’t wish to invoke evil accidentally while calling one’s dogs. I have to call them something, Samael. Something not evil, ideally.”<\/p>\n
“If this is your custom.”<\/p>\n
“It is. Maybe something to do with Faith or Love, since that is what defeated them” she said, smooshing the hell hound’s jowls between her hands so he looked like the world’s largest Shar-Pei. “Would you like to be called Lovey, puppy? Are you my widdle lovey doggie?” she asked. Samael looked disapproving. The female walked over, growled quietly and pulled her away from Lovey by the back of her t-shirt until Mara was sitting on the floor. <\/p>\n
“Cleary, I am going to name this one Jealous Bitch,” Mara said, “don’t worry JB…Lovey is all yours! I don’t like dogs that way.”<\/p>\n
The female bumped heads with her approvingly, at least Mara assumed it was approvingly. JB didn’t eat her, anyway. That was a positive sign. Lovey wagged his tail and smiled, presumably to indicate that he liked being called Lovey.<\/p>\n
“I do not think that you have chosen their names well,” Samael said. “Hell hounds are creatures of great dignity. Perhaps you should consider names which are more sonorous. Names with tradition. Perhaps something in Latin.”<\/p>\n
“JB and Lovey? If you like your names, please come and stand on either side of me and smile for Samael, ” Mara said. They did so. “See? They like their new names. I am going to be an excellent hell hound mistress, if only I can afford to feed them!” <\/p>\n
Samael smiled. “About their diet, my treasure….when the females are pregnant, their needs are somewhat unusual.”<\/p>\n
Mara looked at JB, then at Lovey. <\/p>\n
“Oh, fuck. How unusual? Wait wait wait–did you say pregnant???” <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"