The other night, I got a message from a guy on one of the online dating sites that said:<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
You have big balls- I can appreciate that \ud83d\ude42<\/span>
<\/span>I like to think I’m just outside the box and-enjoyed your honest, fun, interesting rant. <\/span>
<\/span>I like active, heathy- and understand that comes in all shapes and sizes. If you like to hike, bike, and can rut more than 15 minutes- give me a shout back;)<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/span><\/p>\nMy initial reaction was positive. After all, he indicated that he understands that being a larger size doesn’t automatically mean that someone is a slug. Then that “if” started to get to me. What if I looked at his profile, saw a few spelling errors and sent a message that said:<\/span><\/p>\nIt’s ballsy to hang those spelling errors out where everyone can see them, and I enjoyed the humor in your rant about people nit-picking every spelling glitch.
<\/span>I understand that there are all sorts of different sorts of intelligence, and spelling isn’t everything.
<\/span>I like guys who are smart and funny, so to make sure you are smart in spite of your spelling troubles, I have included some links to a few online IQ tests. If you score above 140, drop me a line!<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\nHe wouldn’t have reponded as politely as I did. There isn’t the smallest doubt in mind of that. He would have been offended, and rightfully so. No one would think that it was OK to imply that someone might not be smart enough to date, and including a conditional acceptance based on a test would insult anyone who got such a message. <\/p>\n
My actual response, and I did respond, was more to the point. I thanked him for calling me ballsy, and suggested that it was pretty ballsy of him to say he might be willing to date a fun, honest woman if she could pass a fitness challenge first. Then I asked him to clarify when the timer would start on the rutting–during foreplay or at penetration. He took it well, or pretended to. <\/p>\n
Conditional acceptance is not what anyone wants. People might settle for it. People might not even recognize it as such. I have no desire to be involved with someone whose affection comes with an IF statement. We all have preferences, but when it comes down to it, we need to accept people the way they are or move on. <\/p>\n
Obviously in this case I will be moving on. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The other night, I got a message from a guy on one of the online dating sites that said: You have big balls- I can appreciate that \ud83d\ude42I like to think I’m just outside the box and-enjoyed your honest, fun, interesting rant. I like active, heathy- and understand that comes in all shapes and sizes. If … Continue reading Dating with strings attached<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-2wR","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7644,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7644","url_meta":{"origin":9725,"position":0},"title":"An imaginary conversation about dating","author":"Michelle","date":"September 24, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You know what I would like to know? What? How do you even know when you're on a date and not just out with a friend of the opposite sex? Seriously? I'm a dating dumb ass. Humor me. Are you making out at some point after you've spent time together?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Imaginary Conversation"","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7991,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7991","url_meta":{"origin":9725,"position":1},"title":"An imaginary conversation about what is wrong with me","author":"Michelle","date":"October 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As my emotional attorney, I feel that it is your duty to advise me on why I am having so much weird shit happen every time I am around men. I didn't know you were even dating anyone. I'm not. 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There are a handful of people who I will possibly meet\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2615,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2615","url_meta":{"origin":9725,"position":3},"title":"Dating game redux","author":"Michelle","date":"November 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Last Friday night We went streaking in the park Skinny dipping in the dark Then had a m\u00e9nage \u00e0 trois --Katy Perry\/Friday Night In my fairly long foray into the world of online dating, I had a lot of time to look at people's user profiles. Obviously, I looked at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11195,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11195","url_meta":{"origin":9725,"position":4},"title":"Getting a reference","author":"Michelle","date":"March 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"When I was single in the late 90's, I tried online dating for the first time. It was sometimes challenging to determine if someone was actually interested. At one point, I was talking about that with someone I had not actually met yet. We decided that what we really needed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9240,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9240","url_meta":{"origin":9725,"position":5},"title":"An imaginary conversation about TV habits","author":"Michelle","date":"February 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Don't you think it's weird that people always say they never watch TV? Always never? Right. Some people really don't watch TV. I hardly ever do, outside of football season. You watch old movies all the time. Does that count? Do you watch them on your TV? 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