I think I broke my ribs at the gym last night.<\/p>\n
You did not break your ribs.<\/p>\n
Google disagrees.<\/p>\n
While you’re Googling, you should look up the symptoms of hypochondria.<\/p>\n
OK. Wait, what? I am not a hypochondriac!<\/p>\n
Yes. You are most definitely a hypochondriac. <\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
Do you want me to read the definition to you?<\/p>\n
No, I can read it myself. <\/p>\n
You probably should. <\/p>\n
OK. Fine. I am kind of a hypochondriac. <\/p>\n
Kind of?<\/p>\n
A lot. <\/p>\n
You have a different imaginary illness every week. <\/p>\n
Some of them are real. <\/p>\n
One. One of them was real, but your overall stats are pretty bad.<\/p>\n
Everyone says that.<\/p>\n
Why do you think that is?<\/p>\n
Because I always think that everything I notice about my body is some sort of illness.<\/p>\n
You’re so dramatic. <\/p>\n
Always have been. <\/p>\n
At least you’re getting better at sarcasm. <\/p>\n
Are you being serious right now?<\/p>\n
Well, I thought<\/i> you were getting better at it…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"