Singing in public

The other night I was very early to a date with friends, so I decided to do a little Christmas shopping before heading to the bar. As I browsed through the store, the shopkeeper asked me what I was singing.

“Singing,” I asked?

“Yes,” she said. “You were singing something, but I didn’t recognize the song.”

“I hope I was on key.”

“It was nice. You are the second singer we’ve had in today. The rain must bring it out in people.”

“The song is called the Book of Love. I’ve been singing that a lot today. I thought I was only singing it to myself in my head. I am trying to memorize the words.”

“No. You were definitely singing out loud. It was very pretty.”

“I hope I wasn’t singing it out loud at work, too.”

“You sing at work?”

“People keep mentioning my singing voice who shouldn’t ever have heard it, so I guess it must leak out.”

“Well you can sing that song again any time.”

“Thanks,” I replied.

So. Yeah. Apparently I have become the sort of insane person who sings in public and doesn’t even realize it. Don’t get me wrong–I have sung in public a lot. A friend and I used to ride the bus at night and sing. I sang with a quartet all over the town I grew up in. Civic events. Nursing homes. School shows. We used to sing Christmas carols instead of trick or treating.

Singing subconciously is new. I think it is new. I have always hummed. Is it going to progress, do you think?

There are far worse forms of insanity than that, I suppose.

An imaginary conversation about Christmas

If I never hear another Christmas song it will be too soon. Bing Crosby should be boiled in oil!

(Stops humming “White Christmas” and tries to look sympathetic)

Don’t you agree? The stores were all decorated before Halloween was even over!

(Hides the box of Christmas lights about to be hung up in her cubicle)

Is that a wreath I smell?

Uh. Maybe. No. Uh. Busted.

Where are you putting it?

The same place most people put wreaths. On my front door, right next to the Christmas skeleton.

The Christmas what??

Skeleton.

I see.

Someone criticized me for forgetting to take it down after Halloween one year, and he has been hanging by the front door ever since.

A skeleton?

Yes. After Thanksgiving, I put a Santa hat on him.

Of course you do.

He’s very festive. I love Christmas.

You do?? You don’t seem like the type. For one thing, you hate shopping.

That much is true. I do hate shopping. Everything else? Love. Garland. Wreaths. Cheesy decorations. Classy decorations. Lights. Candles. Making candy. Trees both natural and artificial. The Grinch. Rudolph.

I never would have guessed.

Clearly you have never been to my house between Thanksgiving and Epiphany.

I guess not.

It’s like Christmas puked all over.

Nice analogy.

Well. Yeah. I’m a real wordsmith.

You really are.

You really don’t like Christmas music?

Loathe it.

Even if it’s Judy Garland singing?

Well….

Have you ever seen “Meet Me In St. Louis?”

I don’t think so.

No wonder you think you don’t like Christmas.

And seeing that would help?

Judy Garland…

What else would you prescribe, Dr. Christmas?

“Love, Actually”

No. Just no.

Have you seen it?

NO.

Then don’t argue. It’s charming. A little boy says “let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love” and I cry.

You cry? Is this a good thing?

Of course. Haven’t you ever seen “It’s A Wonderful Life?”

Sure.

You don’t cry?

No, why?

Are you kidding? How can you not cry???

It has a happy ending.

Yeah, but…wow. Seriously, you don’t cry?

No.

I’m not sure we can still be friends…there is nothing more therapeutic than a good movie cry.

What?? It’s OK, I cry during the Charlie Brown Christmas show when Linus does his speech at the end.

Well….I guess that makes up for it.

So let’s get back to the Christmas skeleton.

I don’t think it’s that weird.

Really?

My rubber duckie Nativity is weirder.

You are entirely made of of nothing but pure class, aren’t you.

Ohhhh, thank you for noticing!

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Getting behind in my reading

This is something I hate.
Getting behind in my reading.

On the one hand, I love having unread books.
On the other…ugh….err….unread! Danger, danger!
Must…read…
But…

Life gets in the way.

It’s been well documented that I have had a very very fuzzy several months, intellectually. Personal upheaval will do that to a person. Insomnia will do that to a person. Excessive introspection, perhaps.

I know WHY I am reading less. It’s the same reason I am having so much trouble writing coherently. No, it isn’t your imagination. I am frequently not particularly clear.

It has gotten a little bit better. I am reading again, just not as voraciously as usual, not as intelligently as usual either. Do I just need to be patient with myself? Like that’s ever going to happen!

There are only so many trashy novels I can stand reading.

I have, in the “unread” folder on my Kindle, 41 books.
That is a lot, even for me.
And reading is pretty important to me, so when people who are interested in my well being indicate to me that I need to get out more and meet people…well…it’s a conflict.

I work full time.
I write about 2 hours a night.
I cook and eat dinner.
I’d like to have an hour to read and decompress.
Maybe get some exercise.

I don’t have time to meet people. I am too busy exercising my brain.

What?

It’s true.

Maybe I can go out and meet people after football season. And yes, I can hear a certain person pointing out that I only watch college football, and my team doesn’t have a game until January 1st which leaves me plenty of weekend time for meeting people.

I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna.

Couldn’t I just put up a sign or something that says “if you’re nice, stop by and have a beer with me?”

No?

I suppose it wouldn’t be very safe. Or likely to result in my meeting the best quality of people.

Speed dating? I could meet 15 people in a few hours and get rejected by a bunch of guys at once! That would be super fantastic. Yes, I am assuming it would go badly. I am not someone who is immediately appealing. Still, it seems like such a bizarre idea, that I feel compelled to do it. Maybe when I am single next month.

An escort service? Can’t afford it.

Online dating? The idea of doing it again makes me whimper. On the other hand, I did meet a lot of people. Some pretty awesome ones, like Mark.

Church? Atheist.

Meet Ups? An option. There doesn’t appear to be one specifically for women with a thing for Northern Italians though. Seems like kind of a big flaw.

Full of excuses? Absolutely. Meeting new people is outside my comfort zone. Which means I have to fucking force myself to do it. And I will.

Grumble grumble grumble.

You know what I need? I need a host. Someone to go places with me and introduce me to people. Like they used to have in the public rooms in places like Bath.

This is going nowhere at an impressive clip.

It might be time to bail out.

Sleepy. Scatterbrained.
Signing off..
Sorry for the mess.