Michelle's House of Horrors

Do I, don’t I 

Could I, should I 

Will I, won’t I

Maybe, maybe not. 

Sensible, silly

Dangerous, safe

Good, bad

Casual, serious

Absolutely, never

Immediately, next month

A little bit, entirely

Overthinking much?

1. Figure out Life, the Universe and Everything. By this weekend, if possible.  Oh, right. Like I can just check that one off a list. 

1. Make a more manageable list of things I can start to do to figure out Life, the Universe and Everything.   Is there even a starting point to that? What’s with figuring everything out? Can you maybe do something about the spare bedroom or getting the hose in the back yard fixed?

1. Figure out what I want   Riiiight. I can figure that out and check it right off. 

Let’s go with doing something about the spare bedroom. That’s task driven. That’s something that I need to do, and it can be broken into easy chunks. 

1. Empty out the dresser
2. Take the dresser to Good Will
3. Clean out the closet 
4. Put the file cabinet in the closet
5. Paint the room 
6. Clean the carpet
7. Clean the blinds in both bedrooms.
8. Actually, no. Take the blinds down in my room

That is incredibly fucking boring, but it’s a workable list. 

What do you mean, it feels like I’m hiding something? I’m just being practical. Maybe I’m not feeling like introspection right now. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. In fact, I feel another list coming on. 

The back yard. It needs work. A lot of work. 

1. Get a shit ton of concrete blocks, rebar, liquid nails and cardboard
2. Someone must have a truck you can borrow to haul it all home
3. Build the raised beds
4. Make sure there is plenty of ibuprofen in the house 
5. Do you suppose anyone loves you enough to help?
6. Oh. Right. Get a shit ton of compost and potting soil to put in the raised beds
7. Cover them with plastic so the soil heats up
8. Power wash the patio. Shit
9. Get the hose fixed so you can do #8
10. Clean the fucking gutters
11. Get a better attitude about home maintenance
12. Stop whining
13. Clean the screens and windows
14. Repaint the metal chairs
15. Find a chainsaw and cut down that stupid walnut tree before it gets any bigger 
16. Think about plants
17. Put new latches on the gates, or at least new latch strings
18. Figure out something to deal with the sprinkler system

Maybe I am avoiding something. No, I am really not. I just don’t feel like writing it down. I want to keep it. I don’t even really want to think about it too hard. I just want to see what happens. Maybe watch an episode of “the IT Crowd” or something. 

Sooooo, what about the living room? I mean, while you are being bored anyway, I  might as well go all out. 

1. Figure out what to put in instead of those awful blinds. 
2. Clean the window tracks
3. Clean the inside of the windows 

That just leaves the front. 

1. Clean the front porch
2. Paint it
3. Replace the porch and garage lights
4. Clean the house numbers and screw them down properly
5. Power wash the driveway

I feel like taking a trip. Maybe North. I never go North. Something good could be there. Poutine. Back bacon. Eskimos. Who knows?