Oct 21

Nothing comes from nothing

Nothing comes from nothing,
Nothing ever could.
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good.
–Rodgers and Hammerstein/Something Good

There’s this really annoying song that’s been entrenched in my brain for several days. I don’t know about most people, but to me that’s a lot like the voice of God speaking directly into my ear.

Ear worm-voice of God Potayto-potahto. Wait, that isn’t Rodgers and Hammerstein, it’s George and Ira Gershwin. Is it mixing metaphors to use one song reference to describe another? Oh, this is getting complicated.

No matter how I describe it, the point is that I really do think that ear worms are my personal equivalent of a message from God. Moses had fiery visions. Joseph Smith had magic rocks. Some people hear a voice answering their prayers. I don’t believe in a god, and I don’t hear voices, but I do have music in my head, and a lot of times there is a reason a specific song gets stuck in there.

It’s a message. Call it God, or call it my subconscious mind, but it’s a message.

Except when it’s Abba. Then it’s just annoying.

So what does it mean? Hell if I know. I’m no soothsayer. Where’s Joseph and his prognosticating rainbow jacket when I need him?

On a superficial level, I suppose it’s true that nothing comes from nothing. To get a plant, you need a seed. To gain acceptance, you have to be tolerant yourself. To love yourself , you have to forgive others. To get, you always have to give. Seems like that’s true. The happiest people I know seem to be the ones who are the most giving. The most generous in spirit. The ones who seem to share naturally.

Nothing comes from nothing…you need a catalyst. Internal or external. A bit of a spark. Like a spark moves a piston that turns an axle that moves a car? And where does the spark come from?

At some point wasn’t there nothing?
Does everything come from nothing?

Nothing comes from nothing, but I am definitely going nowhere with this…
Sleepy brains do not reason well.
Or maybe I will be stuck with this song until the message is clear…

And for those of you who keep track of such things, it’s the Carrie Underwood version. Because whatever it is who controls the message appears to dislike me intensely. Shut up. I know it’s me.

Oct 20

An imaginary conversation about what is wrong with me

As my emotional attorney, I feel that it is your duty to advise me on why I am having so much weird shit happen every time I am around men.

I didn’t know you were even dating anyone.

I’m not.

Then how can you be having a bad time with men?

Well, I mean, I do spend a lot of time around men for someone who isn’t dating.

We’re really going to have to revisit the whole thing about what dating is at some point.

Agreed. Not now, though. I don’t think I am emotionally equipped to figure it out right now.

OK, but soon. So what was so weird about this week in particular?

There was a bracket of unhappy endings to my encounters.

How so?

Well, I told you about the falling asleep thing.

Yeah.

That was the opening bracket. Had a great time with someone, it ended badly. I mean, it’s fine…anyone could fall asleep…but it was weird, and not exactly a big boost to my self esteem.

And then what?

So then, at the end of the week, there was another great day. It was a group thing, not a date. Everyone had a good day. Then we were hanging out at the end of the night, it was late, and he left me to go meet up with some other women.

What?

Also not good for my self esteem, even in a non-dating setting.

Definitely not. That would suck from either a friend or a date.

Thank you for the sanity check.

Any time.

Of course, he was a little worried about seeing it on my blog.

You will become the Taylor Swift of the blogosphere if you keep having such positive experiences.

My concern at this point is how it will be when I am actually dating if this is what it is like NOT dating.

It couldn’t be too much worse.

That’s what I am hoping, because if one more man tells me how wonderful I am and then falls asleep or ditches me for someone else, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

I’m pretty sure any court of law would be on your side.

There was an upside, although I feel like a bad person admitting it.

What’s that?

The women he went to meet were nowhere to be found.

Sometimes, Karma really does take care of things nicely.

You just can’t count on it…but sometimes it does make a jilted girl smile. I will enjoy it while I can.

Carpe Karma?

No…well, yes. Seize whatever. At some point, though, the harsh light of reality will shine back at me and why I this sort of thing keeps happening.

It isn’t your fault! You’re great!

But maybe, as a wise friend once said, my pecker pickerer is broken. Maybe the thing that is wrong with me is making bad choices.

That’s an uncomfortable thought.

It is. I should probably have another pint or I might think about it.

Cheers. It’s not you.

Cheers. It could be.

Oct 19

Huck the Fuskies day, 2014

It was Saturday.
It was a beautiful sunny day in mid-October.
There was a lot of good food, and beverages.
There were a lot of good people.

The Ducks beat the Huskies for the 11th time in a row.

My brother didn’t even have to stay in Duck jail.

Good day?
Uh huh.

Older posts «

» Newer posts

%d bloggers like this: