An imaginary conversation about just wondering

Don’t you ever wonder?

Wander?

No, wonder. 

About what?

Things…

Things?

Things!

Any specific things?

Yeah!

I’m not following you…

Don’t you wonder? About things? Just in general? Like while you’re walking around?

What in the hell are you talking about? And don’t sigh at me. Explain. 

But I like to sigh. It’s like a tiny little meditation. 

It is almost entirely unlike meditation. 

It’s like the cleansing breath you take before you start. 

Is there some reason for any of this?

For wondering about things?

No, for your questions. 

No. Why do you ask so many questions you already know the answer to?

Why do you ask so many questions that make no sense?

Because I wonder. And if I wonder, I ask. 

Maybe you should cut down. 

On wondering?

No, on questions. 

But if I stop asking questions, then I’ll hardly talk at all…

..   …    ….

You want me to stop taking, too?? But I just started!

No, no. Keep talking. Work on making more sense. 

You aren’t very whimsical. 

Sure I am. 

Not so much. That’s OK. I love you anyway. 

Love you, too. Now shut the hell up. 

Good night. 

Shhhh. 

Seriously. Quiet.

The situation at home has escalated from sitting in a quiet house with the lights on to sitting in a quiet house in the dark staring into space. Apparently I really did need to take a few days off to recharge my introvert thingie. I only took one. Then someone cute wanted to have dinner. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and we did enjoy ourselves. It was worth it. 

I certainly can’t say I didn’t have any warning. 

But now I remember what happens when I don’t do what I know I need to do. 

It’s not that I’m unhappy or anxious or upset or emotional or overwhelmed or anything in particular. I’m just..tired, I guess. Shut down, maybe. It’s hard to describe. It’s not a bad feeling, necessarily. Squeaky Cat likes it because it means I am sitting down and he can sit next to me with his head on my feet and purr. 

There are worse things.

I have no plans for the rest of the week. My introvert thingie will catch up. 

Maybe I should have some more tea. 

An imaginary conversation about not going out so much

This time, I am really serious. I am going to spend two consecutive nights at home, except for going to the gym.

You’re going to the gym again?

Shut up. I haven’t gone yet, but I signed up yesterday. I was supposed to go tonight but then I went out instead.

What was that about staying home for a few days to recharge?

I stayed home one day. I meant to stay home again, but I was lured out.

Lured? How much arm twisting was there?

Not any to speak of, really. 

What did you do?

Happy hour.

Just happy hour?

And stuff.

Stuff?

Stuff.

Again?

I can’t help it.

You’re going to get arrested!

We didn’t do anything that would get us arreste–well–OK, there were a few things that would probably result in fines and court appearances. I don’t think we’d get taken in though.

You are too old for these shenanigans.

Am not.

Are too.

How old is too old?

17. 

17? No way. 

Yes way. 

Grown ups need to make out as much as teenagers do. 

Teenagers don’t have anywhere else to go. You do. 

But cars are so….

Don’t say it!

Sentimental? What’s wrong with sentimental?

Oh. 

What did you think I was going to say?

Never mind. 

You have such a dirty mind!

Me? Pot, kettle, black much?

My mind isn’t dirty, my actions are. 

Stop it. 

You started it. 

Did not. 

Did so.