Oct 19

Huck the Fuskies day, 2014

It was Saturday.
It was a beautiful sunny day in mid-October.
There was a lot of good food, and beverages.
There were a lot of good people.

The Ducks beat the Huskies for the 11th time in a row.

My brother didn’t even have to stay in Duck jail.

Good day?
Uh huh.

Oct 18

An actual conversation at work

A couple of my coworkers were having a playful argument about the Ducks and Beavers after a recent OSU loss. He is a Beaver fan, she is a Duck fan who doesn’t hate the Beavers.

He says: you can’t like both teams. You’re an Oregonian. You have to pick.

She says:.something about preferring the Ducks, but being happy when the Beavers win.

He says: No, you have to pick. Who would you root for in the Civil War?

She waves her Duck hat.

He says: I don’t like you any more. I can’t be friends with a Duck fan.

She says: that’s not fair. You like Michelle and she’s even more of a Duck fan than I am.

He says: that’s different. I love Michelle. We have worked together a long time.

I say, dramatically: why can’t we all just get along? I really need the people around me at work to at least pretend to like each other.

Coworker 3, who is just walking past my cubicle, looks over at me, a completely horrified look on his face, and says:
You of all people are not going all Kumbaya on us, are you?

And I start to laugh. At an impressive volume for 0800. People prairie dog around us. I keep laughing. I’m pretty sure I could be fired for laughing like that. The look on that guys face. Snort. You should have seen it.

It would probably be the first time anyone here has been fired for excessive mirth.

Oct 17

An imaginary conversation about not talking enough

I know I am still more than a little socially moronic now, but you didn’t know me when I was really bad.

You didn’t talk to anyone all night!

I smiled at people, and followed their conversations. Tried to follow. I don’t pick out voices very well in a crowd. I have a hard time in big groups.

More than one of my friends asked me if you were mad.

Was I unpleasant to anyone?

No, but you weren’t very sociable.

Know why?

Why?

Because I am not very sociable. I don’t expect you to be tall when we go somewhere, do I?

I can’t help being the height I am.

And I mostly can’t help not being more social. I am not only introverted, but also shy. I did talk to people a little bit, but it is difficult for me.

It isn’t that hard to chat with people.

Not for you, you enjoy it. I don’t.

You just make it harder than it needs to be.

Like you do when I want to sit and read quietly and you want to be doing something constantly?

I can’t sit still. It makes me crazy. You know that.

I can’t make conversation with large groups of people. It makes me crazy. You know that.

It’s not the same at all!

I know, because I accept that there are differences in people. You think the things that are different about me are flaws that I need to correct. When you get fidgety sitting still, I let you know you don’t have to sit with me and it’s OK for you to go do something. When I have trouble interacting with people, you think I need to do better.

I do?

You do.

There’s nothing wrong with making things better, is there?

Better for which one of us?

Oh.

There are a lot of overtly anti-social things I don’t do anymore. I don’t knit in public, even though it actually makes it easier for me to talk to people because I have something to do other than focus on how awkward I am.

It freaks people out.

Right. It also makes it a lot less stressful for me to socialize when I have something to do with my hands, but wasn’t worth arguing about because people got hostile about it.

Including me.

Including you.

So you think I am being unsupportive?

No, but I don’t think you are very accepting of who I am. You’d rather have me be different.

I think you are great!

Except for my actual personality.

I want people to like you.

Even if I have to be someone different?

No. Is that what you think?

How many times have you mentioned have great it would be if I was more outgoing?

It would be.

To me that is just like saying how great it would be if I was a different person.

I don’t mean it that way…

No. I know, but it still sucks. You need to figure it out.

What do you mean?

If being a life of the party type is that important to you, then you need to know that I am never going to become that. I don’t even want to.

I want you to be yourself, but…

But you don’t, not really.

I didn’t realize it bothered you that much.

It doesn’t. It bothers you.

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