I like it
simply cuz I like it.
The weather, it’s pretty
I think I’m gonna hike it.
No matter where I go
There I am.
It’s simple
I like it
I like it
I like it
–Imani Coppola/Soon (I like It)
How many things are there that you currently like that you would not know you liked if you had never tried them? No, it’s not a trick question! You’ve got to try things in order to tell if you like them. This does not apply 100% of the time, but pretty close. I don’t think you need to try, say, skydiving without a parachute. You probably won’t like the last bit much. Or replicating the Thelma and Louise drive off the canyon.
Some things have to be tried multiple times in order to like them. These are things that are known as acquired tastes. Red bean paste. Raw oysters. Boxing. Coffee. BDSM. Booze. Haggis. Durian. Cigarettes. Yoga. Blow jobs. James Joyce. Some of things things are practically sacred (I really love coffee and booze) and are definitely tastes worth acquiring. Uh, in my opinion. Which is correct. Other things, like durian and raw oysters may be safely ignored. Especially durian–it’s a fruit that smells like a combination of vomit, feces and decomposing human flesh. It supposedly tastes delicious, but why would you want to smell that stench while eating anything? Especially when you could be smelling coffee. The problem with things that are acquired tastes is that sometimes you determine that there is just no possible way in Hell that you will ever like the item in question. Like anything by James Joyce. Some people claim that blow jobs are like James Joyce, but they are clearly delusional.
I think that it’s a good idea to try as many different things as you can. When you stop trying things, your brain oxidizes and starts to flake off. Yes, it can oxidize even if there isn’t any metal in there. Trust me. It’s SCIENCE. Would I lie about it? You don’t even want to know what happens when there’s too much oxidation in your brain. For one thing, it starts making a clinking noise inside of your skull. Do you want to hear that all day? No. No, you don’t.
So try some new shit.
I recommend singing in your car as a good starter activity. It’s very low risk. When you’re used to singing in the car, try singing around the house. Maybe even in front of your spouse. Your spouse will probably think you’re nuts, but chances are he already does anyway. If you really enjoy singing, you can advance to karaoke or being in a band. If you advance far enough, you can even Yoko a band. That’s a lot of fun. You should definitely Yoko at least one band in your life.
Another fun thing to try is ice skating. You might fall on your ass, but you will probably laugh while doing it. If I can do it without breaking anything, you probably can too. Some day, I would like to try hockey. Ice skating and hitting people with a big stick seems like a good combination.
And roller derby. Roller derby would kick ass. That’s going on the list.
Something worth trying that is more effort is a long distance run. Maybe a 10K or a half marathon. Why not a marathon? Dude. That’s a lot of time and effort. You don’t need to show off that much. Training for a 10K or half marathon is way easier to find time for. Here’s the trick for running if you hate to run like I do: you have to sort of bribe yourself through the first half hour. I would literally have to make myself do “one more minute” about thirty times before I stopped hating it. Every day. Once I got past that, I really enjoyed it. Sadly, I never did get that endorphin rush people talk about…but you feel pretty good if you run for an hour or two. I should try it again.
Another thing you should try is a spin class. You might have to try a couple a week for a few weeks so your Very Personal Area can adapt to the saddle. Once your VPA is used to biking, you will probably find spin classes really fun. It’s not just riding an exercise bike, it’s a killer workout set to music. Pools of sweat on the floor killer. And you’ll get just as much of a workout if you’re the fat shlub in the back as the buff guys in the front do.
Print making is a fun thing to try. Or painting. Or learning Italian. Bungee jumping would be fun. Or skydiving. A helicopter ride. Having a blog. Kissing someone of your own gender. Wearing a new color. Try being the sort of person who kisses their friends. Or learning to knit. Haiku! Write a haiku! Learn to play the ukulele. Go on a trip with a group of friends. Go on a trip alone. Why not live in another country for a while, or at least another city? Learn Excel. Learn to weld. I so want to learn to weld. Try a drink you’ve never had. Learn to love guacamole. Learn to make an omelet. Get a weird hairdo. Try a piercing or four. Tattoos are fun. Listen to Arab pop music. Re-read a book you loved when you were a kid. Smile at strangers. Wear a kilt. Do something mildly indecent in public. Go to Burningman.
This is why there is no excuse to be bored. There is an infinite list of things you haven’t tried yet just waiting for you.
You should get started.
But please don’t bring any durian over to my house.
Coffee or booze are always welcome.
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