Is anyone hungry?

there’s a rendezvous
of strangers around the coffee urn tonight
all the gypsy hacks, the insomniacs

–Tom Waits/Eggs & Sausage

 

I knew that food would be the way to engage.
You’ve got to put something in your mouth to get your ears open
-Sansa Sambiel/Anthony Bourdain, Parts Unknown, Joburg

 

Earlier this week I watched an episode of Anthony Bourdain’s show set in Johannesburg.

A lot of it escaped me (thanks, codeine and cold medicine!) but one part caught my attention to the point that I backed up and watched it again. In a part of the city called Hillbrow, formerly a white business district but now home to a multi-ethnic population, Bourdain spoke with a man they referred to as a gastronomic smuggler who runs an eat shop. A tiny little shop selling carry out food. His thing is to take ideas from all of the people living in his neighborhood and fuse them together. Food from countries all over Africa and the rest of the world.

He wanted to bring people together through food.  People buy food, and then congregate in front of the eat shop to talk about…everything. His enthusiasm was really magnetic. He had  no formal training in cooking, just a love of food and bringing people together. He was a bit like a Bob Marley of cooking.

The part that got really got my attention, even through the codeine fog, was that sometimes you have to distract people’s thinking brains to get them to really relate to each other. He does it with food.

You can do it with alcohol, of course,  but at a certain point too much booze means less communication. Of course, some people are also belligerent when they drink.

You might want to say you can do it with  books…philosophy…but where do people discuss the ideas? Over food. Over drinks. In restaurants and homes.

How did they put it in “Game of Thrones?”  Bread and salt?

There are two things you have to do to get people to talk to each other: get them into the same physical space, and get them to relax and lower their guard enough to talk.

Food does both.

We might call it a ceremonial tradition, or hospitality, but what it really is is getting people together in a space where they know they are safe. When you’re safe, you relax and let your guard down. And then, if people put food in front of you, you eat it and talk about the food…gradually you don’t even realize you’re talking about other things.

Maybe it’s hard to plot evil if your mouth is full?

There’s a certain naiveté at the core of the idea. It’s not like hospitality has ever really been inviolate–and there’s a reason for food tasters, after all, but maybe if you’re not a king or a politician there is a lot of truth to the idea that something as simple as eating and talking can lead to good things.

 

Maybe it only works for regular people.

 

 

 

 

This is not a book review, it’s a love letter

And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh: it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God’s feet, equal — as we are!
–Charlotte Brontë/Jane Eyre

Jane, be still; don’t struggle so like a wild, frantic bird, that is rending its own plumage in its desperation.”
“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being, with an independent will; which I now exert to leave you.
–Charlotte Brontē/Jane Eyre

There is not a heroine who I identify with and love more than quiet, little, plain, passionate Jane Eyre

Jane who will do only what is right by her own high standards. Whose quiet exterior belies a passionate and deeply loving heart. Who has to tear herself from her most beloved Mr. Rochester to remain true to herself.

She can remain true to herself because she knows who she is.

I love that she is entirely melded with the heart and soul of the man she loves yet fiercely independent at all times.

I love that she struggles to find a balance between moral duty and her passions. I love that she molds a spirituality all her own that meets her needs. She doesn’t back down when she knows she is right, but she stands with quiet conviction, kindness and forgiveness.

I love that like a lot of people, it takes some time for her to learn to forgive.

Most of all, I love Jane for how deeply she loves.

Autumn leaves blow by my window

Shadows grow so long before my eyes
And they’re moving across the page

–Peter Frampton/Baby, I Love Your Way

 

I can’t speak to what happens with a serious illness, thankfully, but on the rare occasions when I spend a few days of couch time, I find that time slows down a lot. It’s not that I’m bored, exactly, but it does get a little more difficult to keep myself occupied. When my brain slows down, so does everything else.

My usual at home hobbies would seem to be ideally suited to the sick bed. Reading, knitting, watching movies, listening to music, and writing are all sedentary activities. Any of them can be done right from the couch!

Except.

Well.

Cold medicine.

Even non-drowsy cold medicine makes me a little vacant.  So I’ll read something un-challenging, or watch an old comedy. It’s nice, but it’s hard to keep track. Knitting anything remotely complicated involves a certain amount of counting and math, so that is out. Same for writing. It all gets a little too stream of conscious and odd. Not that it stops me from putting it out there, but…

It might sound like I’m complaining, but I’m  not. There’s something to be said for having life pass more slowly. Of course, it will never move as slowly as it did in the first grade, when each tick of the clock on the last 5 minutes before recess seemed like an eternity. But it reminds me a lot of that. Like having an emptier mind makes everything else stop racing.

Cold medicines, or maybe it’s just the cold,  also have the odd side effect of making me feel…disengaged. Or maybe invisible.

So, I find myself looking out the window a lot. Not really doing anything much. Watching yellow leaves fall onto the green grass. Watching the shadows move across the yard. If I’m writing during the day, it looks something like this:

blinded leaves

Earlier today, I watched 3 leaves drift down, one by one, spinning around once in my office chair in between each leaf’s descent.

Exciting? Not very, but it’s the right speed for me today.