Category: Imaginary Conversation

Don’t you ever wonder?

Wander?

No, wonder. 

About what?

Things…

Things?

Things!

Any specific things?

Yeah!

I’m not following you…

Don’t you wonder? About things? Just in general? Like while you’re walking around?

What in the hell are you talking about? And don’t sigh at me. Explain. 

But I like to sigh. It’s like a tiny little meditation. 

It is almost entirely unlike meditation. 

It’s like the cleansing breath you take before you start. 

Is there some reason for any of this?

For wondering about things?

No, for your questions. 

No. Why do you ask so many questions you already know the answer to?

Why do you ask so many questions that make no sense?

Because I wonder. And if I wonder, I ask. 

Maybe you should cut down. 

On wondering?

No, on questions. 

But if I stop asking questions, then I’ll hardly talk at all…

..   …    ….

You want me to stop taking, too?? But I just started!

No, no. Keep talking. Work on making more sense. 

You aren’t very whimsical. 

Sure I am. 

Not so much. That’s OK. I love you anyway. 

Love you, too. Now shut the hell up. 

Good night. 

Shhhh. 

This time, I am really serious. I am going to spend two consecutive nights at home, except for going to the gym.

You’re going to the gym again?

Shut up. I haven’t gone yet, but I signed up yesterday. I was supposed to go tonight but then I went out instead.

What was that about staying home for a few days to recharge?

I stayed home one day. I meant to stay home again, but I was lured out.

Lured? How much arm twisting was there?

Not any to speak of, really. 

What did you do?

Happy hour.

Just happy hour?

And stuff.

Stuff?

Stuff.

Again?

I can’t help it.

You’re going to get arrested!

We didn’t do anything that would get us arreste–well–OK, there were a few things that would probably result in fines and court appearances. I don’t think we’d get taken in though.

You are too old for these shenanigans.

Am not.

Are too.

How old is too old?

17. 

17? No way. 

Yes way. 

Grown ups need to make out as much as teenagers do. 

Teenagers don’t have anywhere else to go. You do. 

But cars are so….

Don’t say it!

Sentimental? What’s wrong with sentimental?

Oh. 

What did you think I was going to say?

Never mind. 

You have such a dirty mind!

Me? Pot, kettle, black much?

My mind isn’t dirty, my actions are. 

Stop it. 

You started it. 

Did not. 

Did so. 

Hey you.

Hey yourself.

Whatcha doing?

Wondering.

About what?

Nothing in particular.

Sounds…uh…boring as fuck.

I’m never bored!

So you claim.

It’s true. 

So give me an example of what your’re thinking about.

I don’t think it’s thinking, exactly. It’s just wondering.

For instance?

I wonder if I could lean at just the right angle to see the flying pig on my back porch reflected on the countertop on my kitchen island.

Wow.

Did I claim to be thinking deep thoughts?

Uh…no. What else?

I wonder what it is in coffee beans that makes them smell so amazing.

Chemicals…

Right, magically in just the right combination to smell like THAT. If I believed in miracles, that would be one.

That’s more interesting than the flying pig thing.

Thanks. You don’t think reflections are interesting? I think seeing is fascinating.

Seeing?

Sure. All the rods and cones and the optic nerve and all that goes together and we process it and it’s like a movie in our head all the time. And if we look at things from different angles, literal or metaphorical, we see something very different.

Now the shit’s getting deep.

Fuck you.

Heh.

You’re the one who asked.

I didn’t think it was so weird in there.

You have a pretty good idea how weird it is in my head. A lot of it goes right out of my mouth into your ears.

Very true.

I thought that was one of the things you liked about me.

Like. Present tense. I do.

Then don’t dis the weirdness.

Yes’m.