An imaginary conversation about nerves

Tomorrow is going to be a long day at work.

It must be crazy with the upgrade coming up.

No, in my team we’ll actually be busier after the upgrade. I suppose everyone will be.

So why will it be a long day?

Nerves. I’m supposed to have one of those things…you know…where you go out with someone.

A date?

Is that what it’s called?

I think so.

I’ll Google it later.

Where are you going on this thing that might be a date?

That is where the nerves come into play.

It’ll be fine. It’s just a few hours.

Right. If it happens.

I don’t think I have ever met someone so worried about being stood up before.

It’s a legitimate concern, and it happens a lot.

Things come up for people–stop looking at me like that, it’s true.

Yes. Things come up. And we have these things we carry around with us. They are used to communicate. We can talk to each other with them or send messages.

That is true.

It’s being stood up I object to. Not someone calling to tell me they need to reschedule.

Has this guy done that before?

No. I haven’t actually met him yet.

Don’t you think you should give him the benefit of the doubt? He probably won’t stand you up.

No, but he hasn’t confirmed the time and place either.

That is a bit of a concern. Maybe you should check with him. And you’re giving me that look again. Why?

Because I tried that. No reply. So there’s a bit of concern.

Don’t let it get to you.

Oh, I’m not. I’ll just be irritated if I brush my hair for nothing.

The people at work will appreciate it.

The people at work will be too busy noticing my workplace inappropriate cleavage to pay any attention to the hair.

Is cleavage appropriate on a first date?

Cleavage is always appropriate.

Well, it’s appreciated by the men you work with I’m sure.

It’s a good thing something is!

An imaginary conversation about going to the movies alone

Maybe I should go see a movie. I found some movie tickets today.

They do sort of tend to accumulate.

We missed the window of opportunity for the Christmas movies though.

Yeah, we kind of forgot to go and see some stuff.

We suck.

No we don’t. Things just happened.

True.

So what are you going to see?

No clue. I still haven’t talked myself into it.

What’s the big deal?

No big deal, I don’t mind going to movies alone. It’s just that then there isn’t anyone to talk about it after the movie is over. And no one to hold hands with, or lean on.

That’s also the case if you stay home.

Oh, I am well aware of that.

I didn’t mean to rub it in. It’s the same thing here.

I know.

So why do you have to talk yourself into it?

Part of it is that whole woman going out alone at night thing–the movies I am thinking about all start between 9:45 and 10:15. I am not super nervous about going out in this neighborhood alone, but it does make me think.

Plus you’d be walking to your car alone at midnight. I don’t know if I like that, either.

Right. The joys of being a woman.

There are compensations, aren’t there?

Are there?

There must be…

I don’t know. I’ve never been anything but female. I have no idea what it’s like to be anything else.

Boobs must be nice to have.

They are. I’m not sure they are adequate compensation for a lifetime of less pay and more risk of sexual violence.

Probably not. Would you be a man if you had a choice?

Not a chance.

Why not?

I’d get my dick caught in my zipper too often.

It really isn’t a frequent problem.

Still. I would just as soon keep my internal genitalia.

How did you get from movie tickets to genitals?

It’s a gift.

An imaginary conversation about a missing post

Isn’t there going to be a post today?

I don’t think so.

There is always a post.

Pretty much always.

So why not today?

I’m too sick to finish any of the ones I’ve already started, and am not exactly motivated to start a new one.

You post all the time when you’re sick.

Well, not this time. Hugging a toilet and writing don’t go together.

Ewwwww.

You asked.

Feel better…

Working on it. Thanks.

At least there don’t have to be pictures.

There are definitely not going to be pictures. And don’t make me laugh.

So find a silver lining to gastroenteritis, positivity girl!

I get the bathroom completely to myself.

You really can find good in anything!

All you have to do is look.