Category: Imaginary Conversation

An imaginary conversation about being lost

Can you tell me what happened?

I don’t want to.

You asked for me, so I’m here.

You don’t have to be here. You can leave.

You want me to leave? Why did you ask for me if you don’t want me here?

It’s not that, but you shouldn’t be here.

If there’s something I can help you with, I want to.

You can’t help me.

Do you know how you got here?

….

What do you remember?

I can’t talk about this with you.

Why shouldn’t I be here?

You don’t want to be involved in this.

Your brother said you asked for me and put me on the visiting list. So I’m here.

Please don’t.

Don’t?

Don’t treat me like I’m crazy.

What?

The way you’re looking at me. I can’t stand it.

Obviously I’m worried about you.

It’s none of your business.

If I’m your friend, and you asked for me, I hope that means I can be concerned.

You’re not concerned. You’re gloating.

Gloating because you’re here? No. God. No. 

You’re smiling. I can’t stand it. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m fine. 

Smiling is my default nervous face. Why are you here?

It isn’t my fault. I’m a good person. 

Of course you’re a good person. No one is questioning that. 

They are. Everyone thinks I deserve this. 

Can you tell me what happened?

No.

No, you can’t or no you won’t?

No. I don’t know. Don’t remember. 

OK

You don’t believe me, do you?

Actually I do. What’s the last thing you remember?

Being at work. Then I was here. 

Nothing in between?

No. Everyone keeps asking me. No. 

Has anyone told you?

Yes. 

Do you believe them?

I don’t want to. Did they tell you?

Your brother did. 

And you’re here anyway?

And I’m here anyway. 

Why?

You asked for me. You probably don’t remember.  

No. You aren’t here because you love me?

Dumb ass. That too. My time is up. Would you like me to come again?

Heh. I can always make you come again. 

Well that’s promising, anyway. You’ve still got the sense of humor of a 12 year old. 

Somethings never change.

Love you. 

Always. Even when I don’t want to remember anything else. 

An imaginary conversation about change

You know, I am really not very good at this “embracing change” shit. 

And this is the first time you’ve noticed it?

No. I have known it for quite a while now. 

And?

And…I do try not to freak out about it. 

Try?

Shut up. Yes. Try. 

And?

Are you a psychoanalyst or something? Can you say something other than “and?”

Yes. 

Ass. 

What is it that is so hard about change?

Not all change. Just some things. 

Like what?

Like my friends moving away. I am not a fan. At all. 

No. But is it good for them?

I don’t know. It could be. 

Is your concern mostly about how it will impact you?

Of course! Everyone knows I am selfish at heart. 

You aren’t as selfish as you think you are. 

No?

No. 

Thanks. 

You’re welcome. 

It’s just really hard to keep up with it all. It’s not that I am unhappy with my life at all. I am very happy right now, so when things change I worry about it upsetting that balance. 

But things always change. 

I know. But it is hard. 

Yeah. Sometimes. 

No one minds a change that involves an increased level of happiness. 

No. I am sorry that your friends moved. 

Me too. I know that everything else is great. 

You do have a pretty sweet life. 

I really do. Most changes really do work out. Things always seem to get better. 

Do they?

They do. 

So what are you worried about?

The interim. 

What?

The transition between the good things is hard sometimes. 

So, you are worried about a transitory period of slight discomfort I between great things happening?

Yes. Yes I am. Also, you suck. 

I love you, too. 

Good night, you…

Sleep tight. 

***much love to my emotional attorney and Stuff as they move to their new life in Central Oregon. I will miss you. Thank you for being part of my life. Fuckers. 

An imaginary conversation about gray days

Some days I just really wonder.

Wonder? About what?

Everything.

Everything? That is a lot to wonder about!

It is!

Why do you feel like that’s your job?

My job? I don’t. I just do it recreationally.

For fun.

More of a calling, I suppose.

Like the priesthood.

But with sex.

Of course. There would have to be sex.

I am not giving that up–not even to wonder!

Do you have some sort of point to this wondering?

Do I need to?

Not necessarily.

You don’t sound convinced.

It seems a little pointless to spend your time worrying.

Wondering.

Not worrying?

Worrying is different. That tends to have a point.

I see…

You don’t, but that’s OK.

So what were you wondering about today?

Gray skies. Or really, clouds.

Like what they are made up of?

No…but I could wonder about that!

What then?

You know how sometimes you see a cloud formation that looks like something?

Like a dragon?

Or a castle, or a naked lady, or whatever..

Sure. We all see things in the clouds.

How far away do you think two people can be and still see the same cloud?

Mentally or physically?

Exactly!

Huh. I wonder. So if we stand together and look up..

We’d see the same clump of clouds in the same shape and stuff.

But we wouldn’t necessarily see the same cherub or train or whatever in the sky.

No. But if we were standing a mile apart, would we even see the same clump of clouds, or different ones?

At some point they would be different, because they are moving.

It would depend on which way the air currents were going. And where each of us was standing.

That is a lot of thought to give to clouds passing.

And perspective. It’s interesting. I got a kink in my neck.

From perspective.

No, from looking up at the sky.

I can work that out for you!

I was hoping you’d say that!