Category: Words

An imaginary conversation about cell phone etiquette

Oh my God, no, don’t stop. Why did you stop?

Seriously? You’re checking your phone?

What?

I’m leaving.

Wait, don’t…why?

Why? Are you fucking kidding? Do you think I’m a blow up doll and not an actual live human who might have feelings?

We’re in the middle of something.

Yeah, but apparently we’re not both in the middle of doing the same thing.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Put your fucking phone down.

Why are you so mad?

Because you are checking text messages while I suck your cock, and for some strange reason that upsets me. What the fuck is wrong with you? Who does that?

No, I wasn’t…

And now you’re lying about it.

I apologize. It’s work. It was important.

You’re busy. I know. But you aren’t a doctor on call. You aren’t waiting to hear if your client’s stay of execution has been awarded. If you are so married to work that you can’t even pretend to pay attention to me while we’re in bed, then why I am even here? Work is more important.

Please don’t cry…

Do you have any idea at all how this feels? It’s degrading. It makes me feel like I am only here to service you. I might as well have a coin slot. At least then you’d pay attention so you get your money’s worth.

That isn’t true–I love you. You know i do. I’m just really busy at work right now, and it’s invaded my personal life You know you’re important to me!

Do I? I have been trying not to complain about it. I know it’s crazy right now and I want to be here for you. But you don’t get to act like I don’t even exist without dealing with me being upset about it. If your priority is work? I can give you some additional time for it by not being here any more.

No…I do want you here. I just…

What?

I just don’t have any time for myself or anyone else.

I know. And I could be somewhere with someone who does have time for me. But you are the one I love. Even when you are being a douche.

I’m sorry, I really am..is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Be with me when you’re with me. I’m going to go downstairs and make some tea. Wrap up your work shit and join me. If you can’t, let me go home where at least if I feel lonely and neglected it’s because I am actually alone.

I’ll be down in a few minutes.

Maybe you will. Maybe you won’t. We’ll see.







Everyday magic

There are a lot of things in life that are very ordinary but also extraordinary and just a little witchy.

It could be a short list: the fact that everything exists just the way it is. Hurrah! It’s my shortest post ever! The “Jesus wept” of the blog! Now with more extraneous exclamation points!

No. There is more. A little more. Not too much more– I have been up on Tequila Hill with Chelle and Rick, and Rick is a glass filler. I am sleepy.

So. A list of things I find miraculous.

Running water
Electricity
Cell phones
Hard ons. Just because I don’t get them myself doesn’t mean they aren’t magic.
Movies
That thing where you think about someone and they call you or message you.
Tears
Drawing. People who can put a pencil to paper and come up with something recognizably amaze me.
Certain books. The Sparrow. Jane Eyre.
Coffee
Black eyeliner
The way a scent or a song can bring back a memory
Sunrise, followed by sunset. Every day. It’s been going on for centuries.
Flight–any kind. Birds. Helicopters. Airplanes. Fairies. Whatever.
That day every year when all of a sudden it’s Spring
Things growing
Wine

The most amazing thing?
People.

Yes, I am going to say it again.
I know such good people.

Chelle and Rick, thank you for keeping me company tonight. And for keeping my glass filled.

That was kind of a lot of wine.

I think I will have to stop by Trader Joe’s tomorrow!

Love you!







The archeology of books

Sometimes I have trouble letting go of things, so I am practicing with stuff like old travel guides and technical literature. Since I am offloading a bunch of old books, I’ve been going through them one by one. I keep turning up all sorts of things tucked inside and in between the stacks. Lots of cards that people have given me over the years. Photographs.

Like a archeological dig, there are many levels.

There’s the pictures in books level. I tend to dog-ear book corners instead of using a bookmarker, but when I do use a bookmarker it is generally not a standard one. That turned up a couple of surprises from my trip to Italy a million years ago. Some pictures of my dog Pupatee. A lot of postcards.

On the card level, I found a ton of old Christmas cards. It is hard to throw away those photo cards! I have also found several cards I completely understand saving.

This one, from my friend Robin:

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Actually, a lot of them are from Robin.

This one, too, and if it doesn’t get me right on the express to Hell I don’t know what would:

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Then there’s the book level itself: I have three copies of “Le Petit Prince,” including one stamped with the name of my High School. What’s the statute of limitations on unintentional theft? I assume it was unintentional. It WAS. I was a lot of things in High School. A thief is not one of them.

I was intending to give up my Dad’s old set of Child Craft books, but when I leafed through them, I saw the Daniel Boone story that was one of my earliest reading memories and I just couldn’t. I put them all back on the shelf. That is a lot of shelf space. I may have to revisit that.

The 10 year old technical books and decades worth of travel guides are gone. Anything that I don’t intend to read again. Gone. Anything I might read again that is available in the public domain in an e-book. Gone. I have gone from 8 shelves packed double rowed, to 3 shelves that are only part full. It feels good. Lonely though.

Books have been my lifelong friends. I hate to see them leave.