So, what did you end up having for dinner tonight?
Popcorn.
Popcorn? Just popcorn?
Popcorn and a salad.
And a salad?
Why are you repeating everything I say?
Because it seems sort of unlikely.
Unlikely?
Now you’re doing it!
Sorry.
Don’t be. So why popcorn?
I was all stressed out when I should have been thinking of something to have for dinner. When I stopped being stressed out, I didn’t feel like cooking, so I made a salad. Then I was still hungry, and I still didn’t feel like cooking. I don’t do well with food and stress.
Why not? Food is just food. What were you stressed out about?
Should we have this same conversation about why you smoke? The reasons could be very similar.
It’s an addiction, and it feels good.
What made you start in the first place? It probably didn’t feel good to start with.
We aren’t talking about me right now, Duchess Deflection.
There isn’t much else to say about my dinner menu.
We aren’t really talking about the menu, we’re talking about why you make certain choices that are not very good for you.
You are. I am not.
Fair enough.
Talking about it just makes it worse.
Makes what worse?
It. That nebulous It that makes me eat too much, drink too much, and obsess about things.
Shouldn’t talking about it help?
Should I feel bad about talking not helping me in addition to whatever residual awesome feelings I might already have about the poor choices in general?
What? No! I just meant that maybe talking about it would help, and I am a good listener I hear. (Get it?)
Got it. The thing is, making the right choices, or rather healthier ones, is super simple. It is. Any child knows the basics of a healthy diet. Any even semi-educated adult knows many, many different ways to cope with stress that don’t involve overeating or drinking. So when you don’t do these super-simple things, you tend to feel like a moron.
You aren’t a moron.
No, but I feel like one a lot of the time because although I am a very smart person, I am pretty much unable to deal with my feelings in a way that isn’t at least a little bit self destructive.
You think having popcorn for dinner is self destructive? That’s a little excessive, don’t you think?
Yes, it is excessive and yes, I do think. I think the problem is that I can only deal with a couple of emotional issues at a time. Any more than that, and things leak out around the edges. And I almost always have more than 2 things going on at any given time.
Most people do.
No one ever said I was emotionally competent.
You are one of the most competent people I know in almost every possible way, except being kind to yourself.
I know, I know. That is why my mantra is “give yourself a fucking break.”
You should. Give yourself a fucking break, and don’t give up on yourself.
Well, I am nothing if not persistent. It’s just harder with eating because everything is a trigger: being happy, being sad, being restless, being excited, being lonely, being with people, a celebration…Plus, I just like food.
So what are you going to do about it?
When things calm down a bit, I will start to deal with it again. Somehow. I mean, it’s not rocket science. It’s just not eating.
Some people have the opposite problem.
Yes, and the world loves them.
Well, I love you.
And I love you right back. You’re good people.
Ditto.
