Category: Words

What I did on my Summer vacation

Well, I’m dressed up so nice
An’ I’m doin’ my best
Yes I’m startin’ over..
Startin’ over in another place
–Talking Heads/What A Day That Was

Home – is where I want to be
But I guess I’m already there
I come home she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can’t tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
–Talking Heads/This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)

This was the first Summer vacation I have ever taken alone. There were some good reasons for me not to take it at all: it was during the week of my wedding anniversary, and I am currently in the middle of a divorce and because of that, money is not plentiful. Given my tendency to hole up by myself like an injured beast, having an extended period of unstructured time alone was maybe not a good idea.

On the other hand, it’s August. I like vacations. I don’t mind spending time alone. I don’t need money to have a good time. It’s been stressful at work, and I did need the break. There were, I decided, way more reasons to take the vacation than there were not to.

It turned out to be a vacation full of firsts, partly by accident and partly through planning.

So I guess that was the first of the firsts. Deciding to take my first solo vacation.

So I called my friend Jan to see if one of her beach cabins was available, and I talked to some friends to find out when they had a free weekend. I couldn’t afford to stay at the beach for the entire 10 days, so I settled for a long weekend. That was how I started out. Four days at one of my favorite places in the world with four friends.

So on Friday the 8th, I packed up my car and went to work. At 3:10, I pulled weout of the parking lot headed to Tierra del Mar to meet Kyle, Rocky, Diane and Kelly.

I have had a lot of great trips to Tierra del Mar. Trips with the book club, trips with friends, trips with Mark. I have done a lot of laughing on those trips. This one just might have been the best one yet. I came home aching from laughing so much. It was exactly what I needed, and the perfect way to start a vacation. I came home Monday night wondering what else I could do that would be that much fun.

So on Tuesday morning as I drank coffee in bed, I thought about it. I had another week of vacation. I needed to do some fun stuff. Maybe some new stuff. Maybe something with flying. Maybe something with water. There were budget constraints, but I could afford a few splurges.

A ride in a hot air balloon. An isolation tank. Glass blowing. Those would be my new experiences.

A series of spin classes. Something I have always loved, but had stopped doing a couple of years ago. Something good for me. Something I find meditative.

A day or two at home, soaking up the sun, reading, writing, watching old movies.

And what would a vacation be without visiting my friends on Tequila Hill?
We golfed, I cooked a Persian dinner, we got together with Sandra and Steve, and I spent the last evening of my vacation up there enjoying the beautiful weather from their deck.

Who gets mentioned in the vacation credits?

Thank you Diane, Kelly, Kyle and Rocky for making the beach weekend so awesome. Kyle, I miss your laugh–and now I know NEVER to challenge you! Kelly, your stories made the weekend. Ruined Mothers RULE! I love you all.

Thank you Chelle and Rick for living just up the street and being part of my family. Your open door policy has taught me a lot about what friendship and generosity are all about. I love you, I love your children, I love your grandchildren. Family.

So what makes a good vacation? Even if it’s a solo vacation, that doesn’t mean I was alone.

Fantastic people, beautiful places, good food, some adult beverages. Mix in some stories. Remember the past. Look forward to the future. Being with friends in the moment. A little crying. Shenanigans. Saying yes. You start with a good mix of things you know that you love and throw in some brand new things to try. Serendipity. Magic. A lot of laughing.

A lot of laughing.

Mostly? It’s setting out knowing that it’s going to be wonderful because all of the people involved are.

And it was.

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Scandalous reputation

I’ve been a bad bad girl
I’ve been careless
With a delicate man
And it’s a sad sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can
–Fiona Apple/Criminal

The other night on Tequila Hill, Sandra was asking about my recent beach trip, envious of my tan, and she asked “how did you get lucky enough to go on a trip with three cute guys?”

I pointed out that it was three cute guys and a beautiful woman. And they came with me because I invited them. I mean, it wasn’t rocket science. If I hadn’t invited anyone, no one would have come with me. Funny how that works. Really, really funny that it actually took me a long time to figure that out.

Then I was thinking about it, like you do, and it occurred to me that on the first night of the trip, it was just me alone with Kyle and Rocky at the cabin. Yes. I spent the night alone in an isolated beach cabin with two men.

Is my reputation getting ruined yet?

It isn’t?

Damn.

Full disclosure, to protect the boys’ reputations–none of us slept in the same bed. Hell, Rocky didn’t even sleep inside the house!

What would be worse for our collective reputations–if all three of us slept in the same bed or that none of us did?

Just wondering.

In the not too distant past, staying in the cabin alone with one or more bachelors would have been quite a scandal even if there were no sexual hijinks. My reputation would have been ruined. Probably there’d have been a shotgun wedding. I wonder who’d have been forced to marry me???

On the other hand, my reputation would have already been ruined because I am already, as they say, a woman with a past. So I likely would not have been worth forcing a wedding. The boys would probably have been safe from my clutches.

Relatively safe.

I hardly ever harm a boy on purpose.

Maybe I should start…

I’m (not) bored

The other night, my friend Walt posted a link to a mess of inspirational quotes. Since I love to read and argue with inspirational quotes, of course I read them all and did some mental arguing. It was fun. There were a lot of them.

This one from Louis CK caught my eye:

“I’m bored” is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say “I’m bored.”

I’ve probably mentioned it before, but I am almost never bored. Like Louis says, there is a lot of cool shit out there. Boredom is really not an option. When I considered my own occasional boredom for a moment, I realized that on the few occasions when I do think I am bored, I am actually discontented in some way. Frustrated. Sad. Puzzled. Annoyed. It isn’t boredom at all.

Now I just have to remember this emotional breakthrough the next time I think I am bored, figure out what I really have going on in my over-active psyche, and voila! Perfect mental harmony.

So remind me, OK?

What, don’t you want me to have perfect mental harmony?

Of course you do.

It may take a while, that is why I need someone to remind me. If I got bored more frequently, I wouldn’t have to remember my theory for very long.

What do you mean, how will you know when I am bored? That is a good question. Chances are, I will be over my boredom by the time I write about it and you won’t be able to remind me at all.

Personal responsibility is a bitch.

Well, I will let you know if I ever manage to get bored, remember my theory about it being dissatisfaction rather than boredom and have an epiphany that results in perfect mental harmony.

I’m looking forward to it.

Psssh. Every one says satori is soooo fucking hard.
All I have to do is figure out what I am not bored about.

Simple.

That sound you didn’t hear was the Universe laughing its ass off at me.

Yes, the Universe has an ass.
You’ve obviously never heard the expression “ass end of the Universe” before.

Looking forward to satori.
I hope my eyeliner doesn’t smudge when it happens.

(Resisting the urge to say “don’t hate me because I’m Buddhaful” because it is such a bad pun)

(It’s low risk, though, because there isn’t a lot of smiting in Buddhism)

(What’s with all the parentheses all of a sudden?)