Them’s fighting words

Tell me?
Yes, sir
Have you, in fact, got any cheese here at all?
Yes, sir
Really?
No, not really, sir

You haven’t?
No, sir, not a scrap
I was deliberately
Wasting your time, sir

Well, I’m sorry, but I’m going
To have to shoot you
–Monty Python/The Cheese Shop Sketch

Some people enjoy a good argument. Some people enjoy any argument at all, even the most irrational.
I myself have been known to argue about various things just to be a pain in the ass. Hard to believe, I know.

A while back I was very fond of a certain knitting web site. Yes, I really do know how to have a good time. Anyway. On the site, they had a discussion board that was initially about knitting but eventually became a general debate board when the owners got so many complaints about a particularly nasty thread about pinny porn which ended up turning into a brawl about subservient feminine roles in religion and child abuse. Long story. Yes, I said knitting site.

I seldom participated in the proceedings, but over time some topics stood out as repeat offenders. These were the topics that would always degenerate into mayhem and nastiness no matter how hard the person starting a thread promised it would be different this time.

Copyright
Circumcision
Being childless
Breast feeding
Vaccinations.
Really, anything about children
Welfare
Mormons
Weight

The knitters among you are nodding in recognition about copyright but everyone else might be a little confused how a discussion about copyright could possibly get out of control. Well, it’s really something. Knitters often use patterns. Those patterns are typically copyrighted. People tend not to consider copyright when making copies of patterns for their friends or when selling items made from the patterns. It’s understandable that it would need explaining. What always caused heated discussion was when people would try to justify why it was OK for them to disregard he rules.

Knitters, it turns out, are quite the scofflaws when it comes to copyright, which is clearly only meant to apply to other people.

The discussions about children were also particularly vicious. One discussion about circumcision had one knitter accuse another of supporting the torture and mutilation of infants because her religion required her to have her son circumcised.

In another case, a woman who claimed to be a happily “submitted” wife and mother mentioned spanking her son with a switch whenever he was disobedient. At some point, knitters who read her personal blog managed to figure out where she lived and called Child Protective Services regarding child abuse.

The discussions were normally characterized by a mob mentality. On other topics, the same knitters were capable of very intelligent conversation, but when children or copyright were involved there was often a spectacular lack of common sense and basic civilized behavior.

Which made it fun to watch.

The last time I visited the site , there had just been a moderator coup. A new regime is currently running the board, and the drama has radically decreased.

I’ll miss being able to count on them for some verbal fireworks.

The website is called Ravelry.

Just a song before I go

1 2 3
Turn it up.
–Lynyrd Skynyrd/Sweet Home Alabama

Music and cars.

Between Summer road trips and football games, I spend a lot of time in the car this time of year. That means a lot of music.

It’s a home game weekend, and Mark has a wedding to go to, so i’m on my own. That means I get a Portland/Eugene round trip in full control of the car stereo.

Sweet Home Alabama is one of my favorite road songs. I don’t like Southern Rock, and I’m not a Skynyrd fan, but if I’m in a moving vehicle and this song comes on, the volume goes up. Maybe it’s just because they start the song telling me to turn it up. Or maybe it’s because it’s a great song.

When I’m in the car alone, the music gets turned way up and I get to listen to stuff my spouse might not like to hear. Italian rock, Springsteen. I can also put songs on over and over. If I have other people in the car, I might be less inclined to play Precious 9 times in a row. Or indulge my love of P!nk.

I try not to sing along too much when other people are in the car. There’s only so much singing normal people can stand. I also indulge in a fair amount of car dancing when I’m on a solo trip.

If Prince sings “Think I’m gonna dance” and you don’t move in your seat at least a little, you may be dead. And if you don’t sing along when Marvin Gaye asks “What’s Going On” then you might not have a soul.

Turn it up.
Let’s go.

Seeing all sides of a question

 Very superstitious, writing’s on the wall
Very superstitious, ladders ’bout to fall

–Stevie Wonder/Superstition

 

He’ll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees’ health.

–The Simpsons/Scorpio

 

According to astrology, I’m supposed to see things in black and white because I’m a Scorpio.  While it’s true that there are some things I am indeed very categorical about, for the most part I tend to see everything in a dizzying array of shades of gray.

Even more sides than there really are.

Not only the what-ifs, but the even-ifs.

The should-haves and shouldn-t-haves.

The don’t evers.

The alwayses.

We all have to do some of this. It’s called making a decision. But sometimes it’s mental paralysis waiting to happen. I am  good at making decisions.  Ask my husband. Somehow even when I know exactly what I’m going to do, I still have to take at least another quick look at the options.

And then go with plan A as originally scheduled.

 

But don’t worry, other sides– I see you out there.

Waiting to trip me up!

I also used to be a  big fan of arguing all sides of an argument at once. For some reason, this made people unhappy with me. People really want you to only make the argument that you actually believe in. Baiting people is mean, so I mostly stopped doing it.

Sometimes, though…it’s just fun.