I had opinions
That didn’t matter
I had a brain
That felt like pancake batter
I got a backyard
With nothing in it
Except a stick
A dog
And a box with something in it–the White Stripes/The Hardest Button To Button
You’re so mean when you talk
About yourself, you are wrong
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead–P!nk/Fuckin’ Perfect
It’s pretty clear by now that I have conflicted feelings about (everything) any sort of media designed to be inspirational or motivational. It’s all so…slick. So….phony. So…saccharine. So….positive. So….woo-woo. It makes me want to gag, and then poke someone in the eye.
Yes, OK, balance is important. Do you have to be so jargon-laden and sanctimonious when you tell us about it?
So what does a woman in need of inspiration and motivation do?
Well, if she’s me, and in this case she is, she turns to rock ‘n roll. It’s self help I can sing along with!
When I am in need of dispositional adjustment, I frequently turn to P!nk, Storm Large or Bob Marley. P!nk tells me to be nice to myself. Storm reminds me that big girls aren’t built to walk the straight and narrow. Bob tells me to alter my consciousness and relax. I’m not a huge fan of his personal way of altering his consciousness, but an IPA or two serves the same purpose. Especially if you have good company. I am lucky enough to spend a lot of my time in good company.
Lucky. I say that a lot.
Maybe it’s because I’m generally in such a good mood. From listening to music. And singing. Or is it the reading? Don’t you wonder about that? Not about MY luck, but about yours? Are people with generally good dispositions luckier? The Internet seems to think so, a quick Google search turned up a couple of articles. I’ll throw links down at the bottom of the page.
Movies and books are also motivational. Not movies and books that intend to be though. I prefer movies I can memorize. Movies with Monty Python. Movies that make me laugh and think. Books by Christopher Moore about Jesus or vampires. Books with talking fruit bats.
Laughing is the most neglected self help tool, don’t you think?
If you’re thinking that my motivational tool set might be a little lacking, you could be right. It might not work for other people. Plus, I am almost entirely devoid of motivation to do much beyond read, sing, laugh, write and go to work every day. Would I like to do a better job getting to the gym more often? Yeah, sure. But I have shit to do. Music to sing. Books to read. Stuff to think about. People to laugh with. Important stuff.
Shrug.
My life is pretty great. I may not need as much inspiration and motivation as I think.
Semi-random note:
When I was looking to see if there was actually a book called “Self Help For Smart Asses,” I didn’t find one, but in searching I stumbled on a site called “Life After Tampons.” The tagline to the site is “Quit Your Bitching. Change Your Life.” I’ve not actually looked at the site, but certainly the domain name is very promising. It contains a section proporting to help a person declusterfuckify their life which can’t be a bad thing.
Links about luck: