Asleep or awake, it’s hard to tell until it’s obvious

 

The dream police, they live inside of my head
The dream police, they come to me in my bed
The dream police, they’re coming to arrest me, oh, no

–Cheap Trick/The Dream Police

 

Not to belabor the point, but I’ve been a little ill lately. This sometimes leads me to believe that I’m not sleeping, but now I’m not so sure.

I woke up coughing in the middle of the night. That’s nothing unusual. I wake up the whole neighborhood coughing when I’m sick. No, I’m really not exaggerating.

When I woke up coughing. I was very upset because I was disrupting rehearsals for my family’s recording session. We were in the middle of recording our new record, and I’d fallen asleep. They let me sleep because I was sick, but then I started coughing and woke up. I could tell I was awake, because I was coughing and everyone was looking at me. I was also quite embarrassed about having  ruined the recording session.

We were recording our soon to bit hit tune, “ABC”.

We were the Jackson 5.

I was little  Michael right up until the time I got off the chair in the studio and got a drink of water. Something about the face looking back at me in the mirror coughing didn’t seem quite right.

 

And I woke up again.

As myself.

In my own bed.

There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.

ABC, easy as…quantum physics and dream logic.

 

Maybe I should have some more codeine.

 

 

Sick is as sick does, in which I am grateful to be so lucky

I was sittin’ there,
I had a comfortable chair,
And that was all that I needed.
Then my friend offered me
A drink for us to share
And that was all that I needed.
–White Stripes/Take Take Take

It’s always something, right? Just when you’re looking forward to some serious fun, something happens. It’s usually not a disaster. At least in my case it usually isn’t. It always works out, often better than  originally planned.

Maybe that’s because I’m lucky. Or maybe because I have friends and family who are so great. I was kind of bummed about being sick for the Ducks vs Vols game on Saturday. And a little worried that I’d have to miss the game. Which would have sucked, because a good friend was going to be my date and I don’t get to see her nearly enough.Also, it was Tennessee. No Duck fan with season tickets would want to miss the Tennessee game!

Even when I’m sick, though, I’m lucky–I wasn’t so sick I couldn’t go. Just sick enough to whine a lot Wednesday and Thursday at work. I was feeling OK by Friday, but still have a nasty cough. Anyone who’s lived with me is familiar with the cough. It’s like I’m part seal. My folks took good care of me on Friday night so I could get a little rest. And (luck again) I didn’t keep them awake all night with my cough.

So, we went to the tailgater bright and early, I drank more coffee and less beer and car bombs than originally planned. Actually, no car bombs. I ate breakfast, I sat down more than usual and didn’t get to kiss anyone as much as I usually do. Still. Lucky! I felt pretty OK, didn’t cough up a lung, and got to spend a day with my fantastic family and friends. There was a brief moment of panic when we realized that we didn’t have the lucky Fireball, but luck and friends to the rescue again and a bottle was fetched by bicycle in time for us all to have our lucky pre-game shots.

And, of course, we ultimately won the day against the Volunteers, in spite of the fact that I had to yell much less than usual because it made me cough. The rest of the crowd picked up my slack. Teamwork is great. The win had nothing to do with luck, of course. That was all hard work, discipline and other difficult things that I know nothing about.

Being so lucky always makes me wonder, though. Why are some people so much luckier than others? I’ve definitely had more than my share of good luck in life. I often joke that even when I’m unlucky it’s in a lucky way. When I was 18 and accidentally set myself on fire, I only burned my forearm. It could have been so much worse! Although I’ve been in my share of car accidents, I’ve never been hurt. When I broke an arm, I didn’t have to have a plaster cast, just a splint. Lucky. Always lucky.

Or maybe I just think I am. Maybe I’m no luckier than anyone else, but my Pollyanna world view makes me see misfortune as luck.

Or maybe it has nothing to do with luck at all. Maybe I’m just willing to be flexible and happy with whatever happens. Maybe I have low standards.

Whatever.

If it’s all in my world view, I’m going to go right on seeing things that way.

 

I am lucky.

And if I stop being lucky, I’ll still have world class family and friends.

Which, uh, will still make me…yes…lucky.

 

I don’t think it’s going to wear off.

 

 

 

 

Them’s fighting words

Tell me?
Yes, sir
Have you, in fact, got any cheese here at all?
Yes, sir
Really?
No, not really, sir

You haven’t?
No, sir, not a scrap
I was deliberately
Wasting your time, sir

Well, I’m sorry, but I’m going
To have to shoot you
–Monty Python/The Cheese Shop Sketch

Some people enjoy a good argument. Some people enjoy any argument at all, even the most irrational.
I myself have been known to argue about various things just to be a pain in the ass. Hard to believe, I know.

A while back I was very fond of a certain knitting web site. Yes, I really do know how to have a good time. Anyway. On the site, they had a discussion board that was initially about knitting but eventually became a general debate board when the owners got so many complaints about a particularly nasty thread about pinny porn which ended up turning into a brawl about subservient feminine roles in religion and child abuse. Long story. Yes, I said knitting site.

I seldom participated in the proceedings, but over time some topics stood out as repeat offenders. These were the topics that would always degenerate into mayhem and nastiness no matter how hard the person starting a thread promised it would be different this time.

Copyright
Circumcision
Being childless
Breast feeding
Vaccinations.
Really, anything about children
Welfare
Mormons
Weight

The knitters among you are nodding in recognition about copyright but everyone else might be a little confused how a discussion about copyright could possibly get out of control. Well, it’s really something. Knitters often use patterns. Those patterns are typically copyrighted. People tend not to consider copyright when making copies of patterns for their friends or when selling items made from the patterns. It’s understandable that it would need explaining. What always caused heated discussion was when people would try to justify why it was OK for them to disregard he rules.

Knitters, it turns out, are quite the scofflaws when it comes to copyright, which is clearly only meant to apply to other people.

The discussions about children were also particularly vicious. One discussion about circumcision had one knitter accuse another of supporting the torture and mutilation of infants because her religion required her to have her son circumcised.

In another case, a woman who claimed to be a happily “submitted” wife and mother mentioned spanking her son with a switch whenever he was disobedient. At some point, knitters who read her personal blog managed to figure out where she lived and called Child Protective Services regarding child abuse.

The discussions were normally characterized by a mob mentality. On other topics, the same knitters were capable of very intelligent conversation, but when children or copyright were involved there was often a spectacular lack of common sense and basic civilized behavior.

Which made it fun to watch.

The last time I visited the site , there had just been a moderator coup. A new regime is currently running the board, and the drama has radically decreased.

I’ll miss being able to count on them for some verbal fireworks.

The website is called Ravelry.