Something’s got to give..

At a certain point, I just need to cut back on something. If I am going to write, I need to write. 

But what should I cut back?

Oh, right. 

Something that isn’t important. 

But it’s all important. 

Well, fuck. 

Priorities. I’m going to have to set them: getting some exercise, reading, writing, having dinner, going to bed at a civilized hour. Those are my weekday priorities when I get home from work. 

I am simply going to have to spend less time man shopping. Man shopping takes more time than you might think. Or do a little less eating. I could stand to eat less anyway.. Or I could go out less often. 

Ooh! I know! I can only shop for men while I am exercising. That could do it. 

Hmmm…

Solutions are good..but do I have to will to execute the plan??

Stand by and see. If the blog continues to suck you’ll know it didn’t work out as planned.

An imaginary conversation about just wondering

Don’t you ever wonder?

Wander?

No, wonder. 

About what?

Things…

Things?

Things!

Any specific things?

Yeah!

I’m not following you…

Don’t you wonder? About things? Just in general? Like while you’re walking around?

What in the hell are you talking about? And don’t sigh at me. Explain. 

But I like to sigh. It’s like a tiny little meditation. 

It is almost entirely unlike meditation. 

It’s like the cleansing breath you take before you start. 

Is there some reason for any of this?

For wondering about things?

No, for your questions. 

No. Why do you ask so many questions you already know the answer to?

Why do you ask so many questions that make no sense?

Because I wonder. And if I wonder, I ask. 

Maybe you should cut down. 

On wondering?

No, on questions. 

But if I stop asking questions, then I’ll hardly talk at all…

..   …    ….

You want me to stop taking, too?? But I just started!

No, no. Keep talking. Work on making more sense. 

You aren’t very whimsical. 

Sure I am. 

Not so much. That’s OK. I love you anyway. 

Love you, too. Now shut the hell up. 

Good night. 

Shhhh. 

Seriously. Quiet.

The situation at home has escalated from sitting in a quiet house with the lights on to sitting in a quiet house in the dark staring into space. Apparently I really did need to take a few days off to recharge my introvert thingie. I only took one. Then someone cute wanted to have dinner. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and we did enjoy ourselves. It was worth it. 

I certainly can’t say I didn’t have any warning. 

But now I remember what happens when I don’t do what I know I need to do. 

It’s not that I’m unhappy or anxious or upset or emotional or overwhelmed or anything in particular. I’m just..tired, I guess. Shut down, maybe. It’s hard to describe. It’s not a bad feeling, necessarily. Squeaky Cat likes it because it means I am sitting down and he can sit next to me with his head on my feet and purr. 

There are worse things.

I have no plans for the rest of the week. My introvert thingie will catch up. 

Maybe I should have some more tea.