An imaginary conversation about not going out so much

This time, I am really serious. I am going to spend two consecutive nights at home, except for going to the gym.

You’re going to the gym again?

Shut up. I haven’t gone yet, but I signed up yesterday. I was supposed to go tonight but then I went out instead.

What was that about staying home for a few days to recharge?

I stayed home one day. I meant to stay home again, but I was lured out.

Lured? How much arm twisting was there?

Not any to speak of, really. 

What did you do?

Happy hour.

Just happy hour?

And stuff.

Stuff?

Stuff.

Again?

I can’t help it.

You’re going to get arrested!

We didn’t do anything that would get us arreste–well–OK, there were a few things that would probably result in fines and court appearances. I don’t think we’d get taken in though.

You are too old for these shenanigans.

Am not.

Are too.

How old is too old?

17. 

17? No way. 

Yes way. 

Grown ups need to make out as much as teenagers do. 

Teenagers don’t have anywhere else to go. You do. 

But cars are so….

Don’t say it!

Sentimental? What’s wrong with sentimental?

Oh. 

What did you think I was going to say?

Never mind. 

You have such a dirty mind!

Me? Pot, kettle, black much?

My mind isn’t dirty, my actions are. 

Stop it. 

You started it. 

Did not. 

Did so. 

It’s oh, so quiet…

I prefer many things that I haven’t mentioned here
to many things I’ve also left unsaid.
–Wislawa Szymborska/Possibilities

Normally, once I’ve been at home for an hour or two and settled in, I turn on music. Just something in the background while I read, write, cook dinner. For the last several weeks, I haven’t been doing it. Except for a couple of times when I’ve turned on the TV as a Netflix viewer to watch some movies, it has been quiet here. No television, no music, no talking.

It isn’t something that I did on purpose. It just sort of happened. 

It took me a few weeks to even notice the quiet.

Then I enjoyed it.

Then, this being me who we’re talking about, I started wondering about it. I’ve always been someone with the music on at all times. As a teen, and young adult, I even slept with music on sometimes. It was a change. Oooh! Something new for me to obsess about!

I think the music probably went off for  a combination of reasons.   Since I have been going out so much more, I seem to need more quiet at home.  I was out of the house every night this week. Talking to strangers. Talking to friends. I’m not used to that level of interaction in general,  and in particular I am not used to not meeting so many new people on a regular basis. It is a little stressful for me, even when it goes well. I’m enjoying it for the most part, but it tires me out mentally. Or is it emotionally?

The quiet may help me deal with it better. 

Or maybe it’s just my imagination. 

You’d think the quiet would be good for my imagination, too, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. 

In any case, whatever part of my brain is in charge of processing all of this verbal engagement seems to need more rest than it has been getting for the last for months. So it made me shut off the music. Maybe I can have it back if I stay home and do an introvert huddle for a few days. 

Sunday was day one. I enjoyed the day off thoroughly. I bought food. I watched a movie. I looked for a book to read and couldn’t find one. I shopped for men online, which is a very weird thing to say but describes online dating pretty well.  I finally did the dishes. I finally put a batch of cold extract in so I will have good coffee in the morning. I stared out the window a little. Signed up for a gym membership. Took a couple of pictures of the new hat Mom gave me. 

Not particularly productive, I suppose, but I don’t think productive was what I needed. 

I think what I needed was just to be quiet. 

So that is what I did. 

That pesky real life, always getting in the way of my posting

Yesterday was supposed to be the day. You know, the day I got caught up. The day I went grocery shopping. The day I bought COFFEE. The day I did laundry. Got the car washed.  Did the dishes. Did some reading and writing.

Did any of that happen? 

Well…

I dawdled around in bed until 10. I made oatmeal. The good kind–steel cut, with raisins, pumpkin seeds and maple syrup. I stared out the window at a squirrel for an amount of time I am a little embarassed to admit. did laundry. I baked bread.  Then I got a message from Tequila Hill indicating that there was lasagna. Off I went. 

There are obviously worse things in life than having a good dinner and spending an evening with wonderful people having a few drinks, watching some March Madness and playing dominoes. Way worse things than getting bossed around by one of the world’s most adorable toddlers. I will not even try to pretend that I did not enjoy it thoroughly. 

If luckiness was ranked, I would be in the top 5 percentile. Definitely. 

So, I’m doing better with productivity this morning, right?

Uh.

Er…

I only dawdled in bed until 9:30. Drank coffee. Ate oatmeal again. The good kind. Did a little chatting. Joined a gym. Now, I am really going to go to the grocery store. Really.

This time, I mean it.