Author: Michelle

This is why first impressions are often correct.
Although some people might have made mistakes.
They may have arrived at an appearance that bears no relationship to them.
They may have picked an ideal appearance based on some childish whim, or momentary impulse.
Some may have gotten half-way there, and then changed their minds.
He wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake
–Talking Heads/Seen and Not Seen

What I always wonder about is how do people know when they’re right?

As the founder of the Cult of Doubt, I’ve established that:
1. I am frequently wrong.
2. Because of #1, I question pretty much everything.
3. Sometimes I’m wrong precisely about the things I am most sure of.
4. Drinking out of a skull rocks.

Setting aside my own inadequacies and doubts, mere observation shows us that a lot of people must be wrong about a lot of stuff. Here are a few examples:

1. A lot of people are totally OK with female circumcision. They think women need to be controlled sexually (oh, we have such wanton ways!) in order for society to function well. Other people think they are incorrect. Someone is wrong. Both sides are sure about it.
2. A lot of people think that believing in only their flavor of deity will get them into some sort of paradise. Virgins optional. They’re willing to kill each other over it. We’ve been killing each other for God for centuries. Someone is wrong.
3. In a lot of cultures, it is completely acceptable, even desirable, for a 30 year old man to marry a 13 year old girl. (See the cultural bias? Man vs girl?) in our society, it’s illegal.
4. Ditto for arranged marriage.
5. A lot of people are totally fine with legal and social discrimination based on race, religion, gender…you name it. Others are just as adamant that the others are completely wrong.

So we have radically different social, religious and legal expectations and everyone involved is certain that their team is correct. People die to enforce their beliefs. They are willing to kill to defend their beliefs.

How in the hell are they all so sure of themselves?
I’m serious–I don’t even know if my socks are really red like I think they are. I have no real clue who likes me and who doesn’t. I don’t know if you should drink red or white wine with bolognese sauce. I am full of self doubt and doubt about pretty much everything except my own golden rule. My golden rule doesn’t hurt anyone, so I feel comfortable sticking with it.

The fact that people are willing to blow me up because I am an atheist is a foreign concept to me. I can’t wrap my brain around it at all. Or people who want me to shut up because I have a vagina. I get that people might want me to shut up because I’m a pain in the ass. I mean, I know I am sometimes, but what does my womb have to do with it?

Y’all were aware that I have a vagina, yes?
Just checking.

No, I’m not going to show it to anyone. Maybe later.

Like everything else, there has got to be a balance. People have got to be willing to see that there are other points of view, and that there is very seldom such a thing as absolute right and wrong.

I spent a lot of my life seeing everything as black or white.

Now, it’s almost all gray.

I want to thank you falettinme be mice elf agin
Thank you falettinme be mice elf agin
–Sly and the Family Stone

It’s not the most creative thing to write about on Thanksgiving, but I’ve got an awful lot of things in this life that I am very thankful for. I must be in the 95 percentile for luckiness.

How am I lucky? Well. How am I not lucky might be a shorter list. No one would want to read it though. I’ll stick to the traditional thanks.

At the top of my list–
Family and friends of awesomeness..
This cannot be overstated.
They rock. They love me no matter what crazy ideas I come up with.
They encourage me to keep having more.
They are blessed with both physical and emotional beauty.
They are funny and smart, and they make me feel funny and smart.
A husband who puts up with me. Anyone who has lived with me knows what a daily challenge he faces.

Love.

I am also thankful for music, the people who make music, and the lyricists who write words for it. My life would be a darker, quieter place without music. There is not enough time for me to write a thanks for each musician, but there are a few who I love above all others. So, thanks to Elton and Bernie, Elvis the Nerd King, Freddie and his amazing voice, the Beatles, Colin Meloy for the Crane Wife songs, X, CSI, Talking Heads…and hundreds, maybe thousands of others…for being the soundtrack of my entire life.

Words both written and spoken.
Books. Is that more words?
It is.

I do not remember a time before I learned to read. One of my earliest memories is sitting on my mother’s lap while she read to me, and having her figure out that I could read the words in the book myself. For as long as I have been me, I have been the girl with the book. The girl who would not put her book down to set the table. The girl who would not put her book down to talk to company. For much of my life I preferred books to people. Books form a huge part of my identity. My intellect, my emotional life, everything about me has been and continues to be molded by the written word. I am both grateful to all of the people who wrote the words I love and envious of their skill and work in doing it.

I can’t even begin to imagine a life without music and words, and I am infinitely grateful both for their existence and for the people who have mastered the art of making them beautiful.

Forgiveness and the ability to forgive. Finally. This is a fairly recent acquisition for me. I’ve always been pretty unforgiving. It turns out that’s more hurtful to me than it is to the ones I was not forgiving. I’m happy to have learned the lesson while I’m still young enough to benefit from it.

Saturday football games, and a little brother who is a wonder of energy. He has not only allowed my insane friends to come to his tailgaters, but he has actually encouraged them. He is a fantastic host.

Indoor cooking appliances. I know you boys love to grill, and that’s great. But I am very grateful for appliances that allow me to do that inside where it’s climate controlled.

My mother’s homemade pie.
Everything about my mother, really.
I don’t know anyone who has ever met her who doesn’t love her.

A job which I mostly like, which pays well, and provides me with ample vacation time to enjoy life away from it.

The ability to tell up from down.

Ground under my feet and the sky over my head. Sunlight and shade.
The water. Trees.

Heat and refrigeration.

Boozes.

Mashed potatoes.
Popcorn.

Friends and family. I know I already said it. They’re important.

Huh. Maybe this is why I don’t make lists. It can really get out of hand!

I am the girl of 100 lists
From what shall I wear
To who I have kissed
–the Go-Go’s/Girl of 100 Lists

Recently a friend mentioned that he makes lists every day. Being a covetous and envious sort, I immediately wanted some lists of my own.

Being a procrastinating sort, I didn’t just sit down and start writing immediately.

Being a forgetful sort, I promptly forgot about making lists entirely.

Mark thought I could make a list of all my rants about “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”
The enforced conformity, the violation of elf labor laws, the bullying, the intolerance, the violence toward the Abominable…the overt sexism and patronizing way Donner treats Rudolph’s mother..King Moonracer trying to pawn off his misfit toys on unsuspecting children. There’s a lot about it that isn’t very pleasant.

Being an occasionally indecisive sort, i couldn’t decide what format the list should be in.

So I watched “Rudolph” and ended up with this.

Maybe I can do a list tomorrow.

Rudolph says hey.