Category: Imaginary Conversation

That attack on Charlie Hebdo in Paris was really terrifying.

Islam should just be banned. Sick fucks.

Excuse me?

Their religion justifies murder. Don’t tell me you support that. They killed people over cartoons? Who does that?

I don’t support any form of murder. Or oppression for that matter.

Have you forgotten about 9/11? Or Boston? Muslims are attacking us everywhere!

Have you forgotten about the Crusades? Or the Inquisition? The Federal Building in Oklahoma City? Bombing the NAACP office? Bombing clinics? The people who did this are sick fucks, but it’s not because of their religion, it’s because they won’t accept anyone else’s right to different beliefs or behavior.

I can’t believe you are sticking up for terrorists.

I’m not sticking up for them, I am disagreeing with your views condemning an entire religion because some of the people in the religion are sick fucks.

You don’t even like religion!

It’s true. I don’t. I think many people use religion for purposes God would disapprove of if there was one. I think sometimes religion is just an excuse for people to do all sorts of things.

Probably so.

Religion is only the excuse people use to justify the fucked up shit they are doing. Religion and politics. I’m just sick about this, and I don’t even like the sort of cartoons they published in Charlie Hebdo–I think they are disrespectful. In the same way Piss Christ is disrespectful. Art and comedy often use disrespect to throw light on something that needs attention.

And that justifies killing?

Would you think it was OK for me to kill you if you called me a bitch?

Of course not!

Right. Disrespect doesn’t justify murder. Even extreme disrespect. I might not care for their form of satire, I might even think it skews toward racism,but it’s their right to publish it. Extremists don’t even really care about the disrespect. All they care about is silencing all dissent through terror.

Who do they want to silence?

People who believe in equality for women, for homosexuals, freedom to choose their religion, show their faces in public, choose when to have children. Anyone and anything, pretty much. Anyone who disagrees. That is why supporting the right of journalists, writers and the media to speak freely is so important. They help make sure other voices are always heard. Our voices.

Even voices we find repellent?

Especially those. Everyone agrees with the easy stuff. We have a harder time defending things we disagree with.

It’s easier when we think about what is at stake, isn’t it?

I hope so. What’s at stake is pretty much…everything. We can’t keep letting people silence us for anything they disagree with.

So what’s the solution? Kill them all?

It doesn’t seem to have worked so far. Jail the ones who do this…go after the training camps…invade a country they hide in…turn the entire country into a training camp for terrorists when they object to the invasion. It seems like there must be some other way. Although obviously, we have to find them and put them behind bars. It doesn’t seem like much, does it?

So what more should we do?

Build more schools? Feed more people? Work harder to eliminate poverty and repression through non-violent means?

Do you think that would work?

I wish I knew. Peace, love and understanding seem like a better solution than an arms race, don’t they?

A little of all of those would be good right now.

We all need to keep using our voices, and not just to drown each other out, but to try to understand each other.

Continue reading An imaginary conversation about killing in the name of God

Don’t you wonder what makes people react the way they do?

Sometimes.

Man of few words…

Is there something else you wanted to know about my opinion?

Isn’t there always?

Yes.

So?

Maybe you should tell me who the people are that you think I should be wondering about.

Semi-rhetorical people.

Uh…

Maybe you should ask what the people are doing that I think they might be reacting to when I ask about it.

One second you can be painfully direct, and the next you are puzzlingly oblique.

Thank you. You are shaking your head, aren’t you?

Because you are really something.

You know, you sounded like you meant that in an admiring way!

I did. You are a wonder. It is always interesting to talk to you when your mind gets really going. Not comprehensible, but interesting.

So this is what I was wondering about: sometimes people say one thing, but then their actions seem to indicate that maybe they don’t really mean it.

Some people aren’t always honest.

True, but that isn’t really what I wonder about.

No?

No. What I wonder about is that when I ask about the apparent discrepancy people react in very different ways.

Is it a discrepancy that makes you angry?

Not really. It’s more like something I don’t understand. And you know I am trying to be more clear about that kind of stuff.

I know. You’ve been trying pretty hard.

And I know sometimes when I am direct, people think I am mean.

Not people who know you.

Some people who know me. So I try to be direct, but still not mean, but sometimes they still feel like I am trying to attack them or accuse them of some sort of evil doing or something. I don’t know.

Why do you think that is?

That is the part I wonder about.

The only part?

Well, no, because I still am wondering about whatever the original thing was that made me ask them the question in the first place. Then they get mad and I don’t know either thing and then someone is also mad at me. I feel like there must be something wrong with my communication skills.

Or maybe it’s their communication skills. Theirs. Not yours. Maybe they are acting mad to deflect you.

Why would they do that?

Because they know you will assume that you have done something wrong and leave them alone if they get mad at you. Or because they feel guilty about whatever it is that maybe they haven’t been completely honest about. Or because they think the best offense is a good defense. Or because they are afraid.

Afraid of me?

Or of what you might do if they tell you what it is you asked them about.

Shouldn’t they be afraid of what I might do if they don’t tell me?

Maybe so.

It seems silly.

It is silly. Especially if they know how hard you are trying to be more open.

So you think it’s a sign of fear?

That is a possibility. They might also just not care.

Well, that would suck because that’s kind of the whole point of what I am asking them.

Yes.

So basically, the options go from “they don’t care at all, and they are lying about it when they say they do, but they won’t admit it because they don’t care enough to” all the way to “they care a lot, but they are afraid of losing me by being honest?”

Pretty much.

And the only way for me to find out is…

To ask, and hope the answer is honest.

Which I have done.

Right.

So…

You’re kind of fucked on this one.

Shit.

If you ask me things, I will give you a real answer.

Thanks.

Any time.

So would it be appropriate of me to send them a card with a picture of a chicken on it going “bok bok bok?”

Bok bok bok?

You know, the universal expression for being a chicken?

It would not be appropriate, but it would be funny.

So I guess I will just have to keep wondering.

I’d save your wondering for something more worthy of your time.

Like what?

Like wondering who Tim Burton will possibly be able to be with who has messier hair than Helena Bonham Carter.

I have started wondering about that already! I even tweeted with Ann Landers’s daughter about it.

You did not.

I did! She voiced some sadness that with their breakup she was questioning if messy hair could be a basis for a lasting relationship. I replied that I was a bit concerned about that myself and she told me to have faith.

Ann Landers’s daughter told you to have faith in the power of messy hair?

She did.

What about no hair?

I have hair. I didn’t ask about the trials and tribulations of the hairless.

Very selfish of you.

I keep telling you!

Hush. Put down your iPad and go to sleep.

OK. Night.