Category: Words

You aren’t talking
Again
And
I want to know
Everything
About how
Your day was
Who you saw
What you are doing
And
You aren’t there
So
The tears run
Down my cheeks
Onto my neck
I don’t stop them
Head down
Eyes closed
And
I want to hear your voice
But
You aren’t there
Maybe
You never were
Or
Maybe you are
Always
And
This is all about me
My imagination
Taking over
Again
But
If you aren’t talking
Then
There isn’t anyone
Who will
Tell my imagination
To fuck off
I never listen
When I say it
But
This time
I think it might really
Be you
Which is a thing
I am not sure
How to handle
Except by waiting
Hoping
That I am wrong
Again
And
You could prove it
To me so easily
If you would
Say something
Before
I get over you
Judging from the visuals
That will not happen.
Pictures are hard
To deny
And some people are
Unable
To tell the truth
Or say goodbye
Me?
I could say it
But
You are not there
To hear me

Not too long ago, after a somewhat epic afternoon and evening drinking wine on Tequila Hill, I went golfing with Chelle, Rick and Kyle. Some of us may not have felt very good. Some of us may have been on a clear liquid diet for a procedure they were having.

Here are the beautiful people golfing:

In the meantime, since I don’t actually golf, I was providing social media commentary, photographs, general entertainment and a bottle opener. I mean, these are I people I love. I share my bottle opener with them. They are fun. So anyway, here I am. In the cart, drinking beer, taking pictures, playing “Enter Sandman” between holes whenever a golfer ended up in a sand trap, and online shopping:

Chelle said she wanted some super huge tees, so I ordered her some online. She knew about that. Then she lost the pretty pink ball that Kyle found her, so I also ordered her a bag of assorted sparkly pink balls as a surprise to go with the tees.

They looked like this:

Flash forward a few weeks. The other day, I had one of those really awful overly emotional days. I was really struggling with something and Chelle was my best cheerleader, as always. I made it through, but was still hovering on the edge of tears that evening. Maybe well over the edge.

Then I got a notification that I’d been tagged on Facebook. The tag said I was at a neighborhood golf course with Chelle and Rick. I was actually staring out the window wondering if I should go outside and be depressed in a lounge chair instead of being depressed in the house. I was definitely not at the golf course!

Then I noticed the pictures. Particularly this one:

Hope.

I gave Chelle a little bag of golf balls, and in return she gave me a handful of hope when I really needed it. That is what people do when they love you. It isn’t about money or time. It isn’t about the grand gesture. Sometimes, love is just holding up a pink golf ball to a camera and showing a friend you love her and are thinking of her. Sometimes, love is just showing there is hope.

I say this a lot, and I will keep saying it: I am lucky almost beyond my own comprehension to have the people in my life that I do. Every day they show me the value of friendship and love, and the value of kindness in small gestures.

Even a small kindness feels huge when you need it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you.