You know, I don’t even give a shit. He should be making a grand gesture right now, and he isn’t, and it’s pissing me off on your behalf.
I love that you are defending my emotional honor.
I totally am. There is no one who is more on your side than I am.
I know. I love that about you. But, really. It’s OK.
No it isn’t. He should be here.
He’s got a lot going on right now.
He’s not even pretending to be interested.
Sure he is.
Pretending? Well, good. At least he’s smart enough to pretend.
No, interested.
Oh, really? How is he demonstrating his interest? It doesn’t seem to be manifesting itself in any sort of concrete way.
No..
And? And don’t tell me he’s busy.
But he is busy.
That’s just an excuse. He would make time if he thought you were important enough.
I guess. It’s not like I haven’t used that line myself.
I’m sorry. I am all about you right now, and that means being totally against Mr. Hugging On Other People. If he does something that makes you happy, believe me, I will love him. If he doesn’t, I will want to tear him apart.
The hugging thing didn’t mean anything.
Really? You didn’t care?
No. Well, yes. Of course I did. I didn’t like it. But he told me he was going with a group of friends.
I didn’t see a group.
Give him a break! It’s not like we’re even seeing each other. I would guess he’s seeing other people.
That’s what I mean. Why hasn’t he seen you yet? What is he waiting for? He shouldn’t want to see anyone else. Why is he seeing other people?
I feel like I am being interrogated by my emotional attorney.
Sorry. I’d like to be interrogating that asshole who can’t be bothered to make time to see you. I totally am your emotional attorney though.
You really are. But it’s not like there’s some sort of big hurry.
For you there isn’t, but there should be for him. He should be in a big fucking hurry. If he deserved you, he would be. Who could he possibly be seeing that would be better than you?
I don’t know if he’s seeing anyone else or not. We haven’t talked about it. We aren’t seeing each other, so why would I be worrying about anyone else?
Don’t you care?
Of course I do. But it’s not like we’re in a place where we should even be talking about not seeing other people. For one thing, we haven’t started seeing each other, which would normally have to happen before we talk about NOT seeing other people. Right?
No. He doesn’t need to see other people right now.
I don’t think you’re right about that. I wouldn’t want to dictate that at all at this point.
But I’m not talking about what you tell him or don’t tell him. He shouldn’t even want to see anyone else. He should only want to see you.
That’s not fair, though.
Fuck fair. He should only want you. It’s not about what’s fair. It’s about being crazy about you, which he doesn’t appear to be.
We don’t even know each other yet. We’ll see. We’ll crash and burn, or we’ll be nuts about each other. Who knows.
He’s too much of a dumb ass to even know he should be making a big effort.
Objection noted. Shall we have some more cider?
Definitely.
Thank you for being my emotional attorney.
Always.