If you believed they put a man on the moon
Man on the moon
If you believe there’s nothing up his sleeve
Then nothing is cool
–REM/Man On The MoonJohnny take a walk with your sister the moon
Let her pale light in to fill up your room
–U2/Mysterious Ways
This is a pretty much verbatim transcription of what went through my head on the way to work this morning when REM and U2 played back to back and the moon set behind me.
I do believe we put a man on the moon, but I don’t really believe in a man in the moon. I like to tell myself there is though. Well, not a man. A woman. Why would it be a man, when the moon is so clearly female in all of her aspects?
Waxing and waning, as tidal and cyclical as any Earthbound woman. And you know what waxing and waning are, right? Her size changes throughout the month. C’mon. If the moon wore pants, at certain times of the month they might have an elastic waist. Female, clearly.
Nonbelievers like a flight of fancy as much as anyone. Maybe even more. We don’t have all that fantasy and magic making up a religious life, so maybe it leaks out in other ways. Like wondering if the man in the moon is a woman, and what she thinks when she looks down here.
I wonder where the moon is? Is it following me like it did when I was a kid? It seems like it did that more often then. We should pay more attention…it was always cool having the moon follow the car.
She’s up there, mixing us all up. Making us a little crazy.
A little?!?
There’s a reason they call us lunatics.
Do I need to explain that luna and moon are the same thing? Non word-lovers might not get that.
Word lovers might think it’s silly to explain.
Everyone knows that lunacy and the moon are connected because the words are related yeah? Or is it that the words became related because the moon caused so much lunacy? I don’t even play an etymologist on TV so how would I know?
By the way, if you put an N and extra O in etymologist, it becomes a person who knows all about insects instead of a person who knows all about words. Say NO to bugs.
I wonder if I’d have liked Andy Kaufman more if I’d been older when he started in on the wrestling. I never got it. Maybe I would have gotten it if I was older and weirder.
I should write this down.
Done.