I had to fill out a class evaluation form at the mid-point of fat camp, and one of the questions asked me to list some of my successes in the class. This is after 2 weeks of binge drinking and debauchery. Let’s just say my diet has been heavy on the tequila and light on healthy food choices over the last few weeks. I’ve been on vacation. It’s a bad time to ask me to do a self-evaluation of how I’m doing in establishing healthy habits. Exercise? Fuggedaboutit.
I was stumped. I wrote:
1. Regular attendance.
2.
3.
4.
5.
I sat and stared at the piece of paper and moved on to the next question -where I need to focus right now.
Fuck that–can I write that I don’t have any focus? That’s not very positive. I’m supposed to be positive. Shit, I “supposed to’d” myself. Not a recommended form of self-talk. I am doing this ALL WRONG. Next question?
What are some good habits I can build on?
Good habits? Do I have any?
Not. So. Much.
Next…
Every time I think I am making strides towards being more positive, someone makes me quantify it and fucks my shit right up.
Why don’t they have classes that glorify cynicism or sarcasm? I would be the Queen of Everything.
I’m going to crawl under a rock now.
I should never have listened to Nick Cave on my way to work.
Several people told me I looked pretty today, though.
I made my coworkers laugh.
That’s…fine. It’s fine.
It is, right?