I’m worried now, but it won’t be long.
It takes a worried man, you know, to sing a worried song.
–Old 97’s/Big Brown Eyes
Sometimes things I do or say have unexpected results. I think I’ve mentioned how I like talking back to inspirational quotes before. It’s sort of a minor hobby. I follow purveyors of inspiring quotations on Twitter and comment on them. Yes, it’s dumb, but it keeps me from arguing with real people. Except that it doesn’t at all. Anyway, The other night I commented about one that said:
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
I responded that it was better to expand your mind than your waist and then got a response from someone pointing out that it’s hard to get rid of mental love handles.
That’s just great–now I have something new to worry about. Well, not new. I’ve always worried about my mind being lazy. I worry about losing my memory. I also worry about getting trapped inside of my mind with a completely immobile body and people not realizing that my mind is still fine. Well, that’s really a different story innit?
Anyway.
Mental lovehandles. It’s a good phrase. No one wants a flabby brain.
I already have a flabby body, so I do not need mental flab at all. If my steady regimen of reading and writing doesn’t help prevent mental lovehandles, I am kind of screwed. Should I do Sudoku? I hate them. Mind training exercises? Should I start playing that card game where you have to find matching cards? I can’t remember the name of it. Is that the first sign of mental lovehandles? What about excessive questions? If wondering is a sign of dementia, then I definitely have it. Definitely.
I worry too much.
Right?
Is arguing with the voice in my head considered mental exercise? Because if it is, I will have not problems with brain flab at all. But then, if I get better at this mindfulness shit, the voice inside my head will (supposedly) diminish or even vanish and then what will I do for a mental workout?
So…
Maybe I should start going to the gym.
They might have a brain treadmill I could use.