Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last. To pluck the mask from the face of the Pharisee, is not to lift an impious hand to the Crown of Thorns.
–C.Brontë
Let’s just get the scary word right out there in the open: feminism.
I’ll say it now: I am a feminist. And no, it isn’t a synonym for man-hating lesbian. It doesn’t mean I think women are just like men. It means that I think that women should have social-political-economic rights equal to those of men. It means that I think that women should be free to determine what they want to do with their own bodies and minds.
How does that tie into the body image stuff?
Be fat or thin.
Have a full bush, shave little hearts into it or go bare.
Have natural breasts or get those silicone cantaloupes glommed onto the front of you.
Be a virgin or be a whore.
Be a stay at home mom, a nun or a doctor.
Get your entire body tattooed so you look like a lizard, or enjoy your skin without adornment.
Wear false eyelashes to the gym, or shun makeup completely.
Write hard core porn, or poems about butterflies and rainbows.
Be an intellectual or a ditz.
Do anything you want to do. Be anything you want to be. Even things that most of us would find objectionable. Just…think first.
As you are making a decision about how to handle yourself out in this great big world, here is some advice: take into consideration how much outside influence is going into that decision before you make it so it’s as much your own as it can be.
Try not to let the voice of the world make your decisions for you. Try not to make decisions just to please someone else.
There is a huge difference in my mind between deciding to get breast implants because you’ve made a carefully considered decision that you’d like to have bigger breasts and doing it because you think your boyfriend will break up with you if you don’t, or because you won’t be able to work as a stripper without cantaloupes strapped to your sternum.
Hell, be a stripper if you really want to. Be a prostitute if it’s really what you want and you’re honestly doing it on your own terms. In my opinion that is extremely rare. (Never mind my squeamishness about more value being placed on our bodies than on our brains in our world, and what that does to Women as a whole in society.)
Sexual self-determinism is a big topic. It’s hard to make a decision about living a radical sexual lifestyle without it being impacted by adverse elements in our lives. Rape, abuse, drugs. It’s possible, but it’s difficult.
It’s also very prone to being judged. Sometimes literally judged, like Oscar Wilde. Sometimes you could end up being an outcast. If it’s what you want, for yourself, and you’ve considered it–go ahead.
My concerns about many body modifications are more about how they play into the possibility that people, especially women, could gradually become less accepted if all of their body parts are real. That we are possibly setting each other up for being considered substandard if we do not modify our bodies and behavior to match an ideal that comes from…where does it come from? Not from us. From outside. From men. From the media. From those who do not necessarily want what is best for us.
Think about it. That is the point.
I don’t care what you do unless you wear pajamas in public. That’s tacky.