Sometimes I just have to take a few minutes to sort of catch my breath and figure out where I am with everything and, you know, calm the fuck down.
Like now.
I spent the day with friends, going to a couple of 4th of July parties, and at the end? I needed to breathe a little. So I am back at Ma’s place, on the back porch, in the dark, listening to folks blowing up the last of their fireworks. Looking up at the stars. Being glad for everything I can.
It was a good day, but this is a bittersweet time for me. I can spin it with as much positivity as I can, but not everything is good right now. That is OK. I will get through it. We’ll both be happier in the end, but it does take a toll. There is only so much smiling I really feel like doing right now.
So I am here. In the dark. Under the stars. Breathing. Looking up.
I don’t have all of the answers. Hardly any of them, actually, but I do know that it will be alright.
It will be because it always is.