Good bye, Louie’s Village

This weekend, I drove down to Eugene to see some friends and to say good bye to a local institution: Louie’s Village. Louie’s is an old school Chinese restaurant that’s been in Eugene since I was a little girl. It’s where my family always went for Chinese when I was growing up. The original owners are retiring, and the children are not interested in staying in the family business, so they’re closing at the end of the year.

My dad worked in the wholesale meat industry when I was growing up, and Louie’s was one of his clients. That meant that if we ate there, someone from the family would always come over and chat with us. In grade school, we had a banquet there after a field trip to the Museum of Asian Art at the University, and my dad introduced the owner of the restaurant to the class. Everyone seemed very impressed. It’s funny what impresses you when you’re 8.

Over the years, we saw a lot of the Louie family grow up and out of the restaurant as they went to high school and college.

I always had the same thing when I ate at Louie’s: the Louie’s Special beef chow mein, and the egg roll.
The egg rolls there were giant, and delicious.

They still are.

I can’t believe I’ll never get to have them again. No other restaurant makes them quite the same way. Today the place was packed, and the waitress said that they’ve been running out of egg rolls, so evidently my friends and I are not the only people who love them. People have been buying them in bulk and freezing them. I understand the impulse completely.

We decided to say our good-byes today, and not bring any egg rolls home with us. They just wouldn’t be the same without the context of the cheesy decor and bad beer.

It probably seems like an odd thing to get sentimental about. I suppose it is. They’re kind of like Proust’s madeleines for me, in the form of a time warp Cantonese joint straight out of the 60’s. It’s an era that we’re losing. Maybe that’s good in some ways. Certainly there are places with better food and ambiance these days.

I’ll miss the giant egg rolls, though.

And the kitsch.

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Power trip

Little triggers that you pull with your tongue
Little triggers, I don’t wanna be hung up, strung up
When you don’t call up
–Elvis Costello/Little Triggers

Sometimes I phone you when I know you’re not lonely
But I always disconnect it in time
–Elvis Costello/No Action

There is always one person in a relationship who has at least a little more power than the other. In my case, typically it’s the person who isn’t me. No, wait. That isn’t true. It’s often the person who feels the most vulnerable. That’s often me, but not always. There have been a few relationships where I wasn’t particularly invested emotionally. I suppose I was the one with the most power, because I didn’t care as much what happened. So if he didn’t call? Shrug. I was supposed to call and forgot? Shrug.

It isn’t necessarily a bad thing that there’s a little bit of a difference. One person is bound to have more money or social status. One person is bound to care more. It’s inevitable. It’s really only problem if I you don’t just accept it or if the power relationship is used in an abusive way. When you think everything should be…well…when you start throwing shoulds around can that ever be a good thing? It’s not necessarily a bad thing that one person cares a little more. Most of the time, it is fine. It just is. If one of the person has more money/political/social power? Not an automatic problem.

When one person has the power and uses it to take advantage of the other it’s never OK. Having more power, of whatever sort, should not be an “it’s OK for me to be a douchenozzle” card. Unfortunately that is sometimes how the less powerful partner acts. And when they do, both partners are wrong. One for being a douche, and the other for being a doormat. The ones who tend to be douches seem to have radar for doormats in the same way that the physically abusive ones seem to attract the ones who will tolerate being hit. Part training, part isolation I suppose.

It’s not static, either. Who has the power changes in a healthy relationship. Job changes, shifts in how the relationship feels to both people..maybe an inheritance. A lot goes into the dynamic. It might be as simple as one person having something the other wants.

And so what?

Well. I dunno. Just thinking aloud.
It’s getting late, I’m getting tired. I’ve just taken a dose of codeine, and I’m sleepy, so I have a head full of ideas with no logic to process them.

Today I got to spend time with people who I love. Tomorrow I get to do that again.
It makes me wonder.

But what doesn’t?

Who am I again?

Well a box of red and a pill or three
And I’m calling time and temperature just for some company.
I wish you were here. I wish I was too.
I’ll drink myself to sleeplessness, I always do.
–Old 97’s/Big Brown Eyes

It’s a little trippy, pun intended, to be sick for long enough, and medicated long enough that you don’t feel quite like yourself for more than a few days. For a person who has always considered herself a thinker and who has been a reader since even before I have memory, it’s a challenge for me to get through the days without being able to focus on a book. Or a thought. Or, uh, a blog. My brain will presumably be back at some point. It will, right?

I hope it comes back, because although I do love re-reading my entire collection of Christopher Moore, there comes a point at which my brain requires feeding with something other than humor. Something which requires a little analysis. Maybe a little interpretation. Thought.

I miss thinking.

And the books are stacking up. Virtually stacking up. I need to read “the Book Thief” and “Underworld.”
“the Gardens of Kyoto” and all of the Terry Pratchett Discworlds I got on super sale. “the Taliban Cricket Club.” “the Orchardist.”
Oh my gosh. I hardly have anything to read. I usually have a much larger stack than this.

No wonder my brain is shriveling.

Maybe I should do a little browsing around. See if there’s anything out there that looks interesting…ooh! Like “Under the Volcano….”

I’ll be back.