Spider in the skylight

There was a spider on the skylight. 

Its web was backlit by the sun streaming in, making the woman shade her eyes as she looked up at it from the bed below. 

She hated spiders. She rolled over and tried to pick up the cup of water on the bare concrete floor, spilling most of it on the floor in the process.  She curled up into a ball on the bed and the tears started.  Again. 

She looked up, seeing  the spider on its strand of silk, falling rapidly towards the bed. Towards her. 

Suddenly huge, with gnashing teeth. 

She pulled the covers over her head and screamed. 

No one would come. 

She hoped no one would come. 
It was better when they didn’t come, in spite of  the spiders. 

Metalsmithing, lesson two

As you will recall from my first lesson, last week I learned to use a saw to cut shapes out of sheet metal. I made…a…dealie. It looks like this:
No, I don’t know what it is. I think it is supposed to be abstract. It looks vaguely dog like.


On Tuesday night, we made charms. Or dog tags. We cut things out and learned to emboss and engrave them. And make rivets. It involved hammering and drilling and cutting.


I made a Sea Monkey!





Next week, who knows?

Well, I mean, I do know. There’s a syllabus. 



An imaginary conversation about children and commitment 

Before we do this, we should have a talk about whether or not we are ready for this level of commitment. 

Well, for one thing, we may have to buy medicine for them. We should really split that cost. 

I’m on disability, girlfriend. I can’t afford that. 

We’re creating new lives, we have to be responsible about it. We can’t just let them get sick!

Maybe we should sleep on it. 

You should have thought if that before you brought me a bag of freeze dried children. 

You haven’t reconstituted them yet?

No, you have to let the water sit for 24 hours with the purifying powder in it. Didn’t you research this before giving them to me?

No, I thought you just dumped them in the water. 

There’s a process. The eggs go into the water tomorrow. 

Unless we change our minds. 

Well, if you think it’s too much shared responsibility this early in our relationship. 

Pets are a big step. 

It was your idea!

I know. I think it will be OK.  We’re both relatively…

Do NOT say mature. 

No. Hell no. I was going to say responsible and loving. 

Oh.  Well yeah.  But NOT mature. 

No way. 

Have you seen the price list for parts and accessories?

Parts and accessories?

Yeah. For instance, I am a little put out that you didn’t get me the Executive Sea Monkey kit. 

I had no idea such a thing existed. 

I’ll email you the list. Do you want to get a Sea Monkey diploma?

It seems like a good idea if we are going to parent them. What does it entail?

A check, of course. $13 plus shipping and handling. 

And we’d both want one?

Well, I’d want one to put up in my cubicle. 

Of course you would. 

Any proud parent would!

Maybe we could just teach them French instead. 

Eh oui. Good idea!


I’ll send you pictures when I dump the eggs into the purified water and reanimate the freeze dried monkey babies. 

Perfect. Talk to you tomorrow. 

Happy Father’s Day!