Oh I can only dream of the dreams we’d share if you were so inclined
I would love to be the one to open up your mind
I could base my whole existence upon the cherry-strands of your gold hair
I would ask, almost insist upon treating you kind and fair
Oh I can only dream of the dreams we’d have if our hearts would be entwined
If you would let me be the one to open up your mind
Not too terribly long ago, though it seems like just yesterday and forever ago at the same time, I met someone. I am not quite sure how it happened, but it did. First online, then in person, the way things work these days. It’s the same thing that happens for people all over the world, every day. People meet. They like each other. Then it all sort of takes on a life of its own.
The thing that is a little different with us is that neither one of us would have picked each other out of a dating lineup. On the surface, we’re very different. One of us seems too wild, the other too calm. One places a great deal of importance on the spiritual, the other is a professed atheist who doesn’t really believe that a spirit even exists. Distance. Age. Disability. Weight. There are a lot of things that could have made either of us click on someone else. A lot of things that might have caused us not to even consider each other a viable possibility. Things that would be deal breakers for either or both of us.
What happened? Why aren’t we both still looking for more suitable partners? Like I said a few weeks ago, kismet and chemistry happened–but before we got to a place where chemistry could have a chance, some things had to happen to make us look past all of the differences and obstacles and see possibility instead.
First, it was just a bit of a lucky accident that started us talking at all. Neither of us was looking to have a long distance relationship. Once we started to talk, though, we never stopped. Our minds and our hearts told us both to see what would happen, and we actually both listened.
If I had been designing an ideal mate, would I have picked a hemiplegic Buddhist jazz lover who lives on an island it takes me 4 hours to get to? No. Would he have picked a cynical Elvis Costello loving Atheist fat chick from Portland? Doubtful. For some reason we were both willing to step outside of our comfort zones. Somehow we both saw past the obvious problems.
They didn’t seem like problems.
In fact, they started to seem more and more like chances to expand our lives. Learning to live a different way. Slowing down to a pace where we can see what is important. Figuring out what works for us. Talking about everything. Really everything.
Keeping our minds open and sharing the thoughts and feelings we experience as it happens.
What’s the worst thing that can happen? A little heartbreak?
It seems like a pretty small risk in exchange for the possibility of everything.
Its web was backlit by the sun streaming in, making the woman shade her eyes as she looked up at it from the bed below.
She hated spiders. She rolled over and tried to pick up the cup of water on the bare concrete floor, spilling most of it on the floor in the process. She curled up into a ball on the bed and the tears started. Again.
She looked up, seeing the spider on its strand of silk, falling rapidly towards the bed. Towards her.
Suddenly huge, with gnashing teeth.
She pulled the covers over her head and screamed.
No one would come.
She hoped no one would come.
It was better when they didn’t come, in spite of the spiders.