Author: Michelle

When the world is too dark

And I need the light inside of me

I’ll go into a bar and drink

–the Pogues/Streams of Whiskey 

 

 

There are, essentially, no truly effective treatment programs for drug or alcohol dependency. AA was created in the late 30’s and it remains the basis for pretty much all current drug and alcohol treatment programs. In 1992, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism studied 42,000 Americans. 4500 of them had been dependent on alcohol at some time. Of these 4500, only 27% had ever had any treatment, and a third of them were still abusing alcohol. Of those who had never had treatment, only a quarter were still abusing alcohol

So why is AA so often mandated by the courts in spite of the fact that people treat their own disease just as effectively as either AA or other 12-step based programs? Well, there isn’t really anything else.

Why aren’t there any other options? I have no idea. For some reason, we’ve never managed to progress beyond 12 step programs in spite of their limited efficacy. My conspiracy theorist brain thinks that companies making money off of our repeated trips to rehab facilities are quashing any more successful treatments so they can keep getting their patients back for treatment over and over.

One of the things that got me thinking about this is that it’s football season and we all seem to do a lot more drinking this time of year in my social group. That makes me think about the many addicts I’ve known over the years.

 

Also, James Frey has a new book out. Frey, if you recall, wrote a wildly successful book several years ago called “A Million Little Pieces” about his addictions and subsequent legal troubles and treatment in an inpatient rehab. There was eventually a shit storm when it was revealed that he’d made a lot of the stuff in his book up. I enjoyed the book, and although I don’t know anything about being in rehab I liked Frey’s take on 12 Step programs. His opinion was basically that he was NOT powerless over drugs and alcohol and that it was ultimately up to him to deal with it himself. He was also convinced that there was no reason he should not be able to moderate his alcohol consumption with enough will power instead of giving up alcohol entirely. That really resonated with me–putting someone in a position of eternal victim-hood like AA does seems like it would be emotionally crippling. And a lifetime of meetings to reinforce your dependency on the higher power that’s supposed to save you? It makes me cringe.

As an atheist, I’ve always wondered what I would ever do if I need treatment for drug or alcohol addiction. I don’t believe in a higher power. Any higher power. Also, saying that I’m powerless over anything seems…just instinctively wrong somehow. Wouldn’t empowering addicts to fight against their addictions with medical/psychiatric assistance be far more productive than just telling them to throw up their hands and say that they’re helpless? Certainly thinking that (what is to me) an imaginary entity is going to save me doesn’t seem like it would be helpful in the long term. One atheist recovery site recommends replacing “higher power” with “reality” when attending AA, but the fact remains that AA is a religious group whose core belief is that you need to submit to God to remain sober. And that submission is forever.

One thing everyone (except James Frey) seems to agree with is that an addict will never be able to moderate his or her consumption. So what do you do if your addiction is something that you have to have on an at least occasional basis, such as food or sex? Abstinence is simple. You know exactly how much heroin you can have if you’re a recovering addict–none. Same for vodka–none. How much dinner can you have if you have an eating disorder? You can’t be abstinent from food for long.

How do you achieve the equivalent of food sobriety?

Or maybe food and sex addiction are just a bunch of hooey.

That’s very possible.

To be continued, I bet…

How long?
Not long.
‘Cause what you reap
Is what you sow.
–Rage Against The Machine/Wake Up

 

Karma’s a bitch.
Not really.
There’s no such thing as Karma.

But, wait! What goes around comes around, doesn’t it? Sure, to some extent, but that doesn’t mean that Karma exists.

What does exist is cause and effect–it’s human nature.  If you act like a douche, sooner or later people will not like you. Keep being a douche, and you are likely to die alone. If you have money, you can mask your solitude to a certain extent, but if you are even minimally self aware you will know that you are not loved.

It’s not the because the Universe is keeping score, it’s because people do.

It’s not Karma.
It’s you, it’s me, it’s all of us.

We are all Karma.

So does that mean that if you are not a douche, then people will like you? No, not necessarily. People are not particularly consistent. How many people do you know who just don’t seem to have the knack of making friends? There are a lot of people out there who are socially awkward,  or quirky, or shy who are also not loved. They’re not unkind. They don’t do anything to hurt anyone, but for whatever reason people just don’t like them much.

They haven’t really done anything to deserve it, but there they are.

But that’s on us, too, isn’t it?

If we are all Karma, we do kind of a random job of reward and enforcement.

In the last few millenniums we have come up with a lot of different ways to say “be nice, or it will go badly for you.”  If you don’t believe in any kind of deity, where does that leave you? It leaves you in exactly the same place as everyone else. Feet on the ground until you get put under the ground. We all live here until we die here. Do we really need Gods and Philosophers to tell us the obvious?  If we are nice to people, it makes being on this planet a lot more pleasant for all of us.

It’s not rocket science, people:  don’t be a douche. That’s all you need to know. Actually, it’s not even as strict as that. People will make allowances for effort.

Revised rule:  TRY not to be a douche very often. If you ARE a douche, feel bad about it and then apologize sincerely.

If the people you are a douche to are also following the rule, they will  forgive you.

 

 

Yes, I know. A lot of people are fuckwads.  You don’t have to be a doormat. You know what really pisses off a fuckwad? Someone who is unfailingly and sincerely nice to them. Someone who smiles, and who means it.  Someone who continues to not be a douche when faced with douchebaggery.

Not being a douche doesn’t mean having no sense of humor. Go ahead and enjoy pissing them off, but be noble about it.

 

After all, you are not a douche.

 

 

Take me out to the ball game
Take me out with the crowd
Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks
I don’t care if I never get back

–J.Norworth/Take Me Out To The Ballgame

 

Mark has the World Series on, and I’m just going to come right out and say it: I do not like  baseball.  No, not even when the World Series is on. If someone happens to drag me to a baseball game on a warm Summer evening, I don’t mind too much. There’s beer and hotdogs. You can chat with your friends in the sun. Throw peanuts.

But on TV? No. No. No.

What do I find so objectionable about it?

Everything, pretty much.

The spitting. I don’t like spitting in any sport, but it baseball the spitting is out of fucking control. Sitting and watching any closeup shots of the dugout is just unbearable. They must have to put the cleaning crew in hazmat suits. That’s a lot of sputum from a lot of countries where drug resistant TB is rampant. Just. Ewwww.

The slow pace. You can tell me the game is full of nuance and strategy all you want. I’m still bored.

The uniforms. I hear women talk about how sexy they are, and I do NOT get it. They make all of the men wearing them look like fat oafs. I’m pretty sure they aren’t really fat oafs, but those pants sure don’t do them any justice!

The scraggly beards.  Baseball players have got to be the most unattractive of all the professional athletes between the goat beards and the hideous pants.  Make them shave. Or at least trim their beards so they don’t look like they have a bad case of the mange.

The interminable length of some of the games. If it goes past 12 innings, they need to flip a coin or something. I’m going to bed.

An excessive number of games. They play what seems like 95 games a week for about 7 months out of the year.  And the same teams play night after night. Play 2 games a week for 3 or 4 months and call it good. No one will care. ***

The destruction of the 7th inning stretch. They have obviously caused far more serious geo-political havoc, but did you know that Al-Qaeda have ruined the 7th inning stretch, too?   Nothing against “God Bless America,” but the song you are supposed to sing is “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.”  Sing the national anthem at the beginning of the game. You don’t need the entire game to be a continuous salute to America. It’s a sports event.

 

And don’t try to call me a Commie because I don’t like it. That doesn’t work anymore–half the players are Cuban. Commies DO like baseball.

 

The caps are cute though. Who doesn’t like a baseball cap?

 

 

***Note: I was concerned that I might have inadvertently exaggerated the length of the season, so I looked it up and I have not. The regular season is 26 weeks long. For those of you who are as math impaired as I am, that is half the year. Tack on the post season and that is 4 months too much baseball.