Category: Words

Missed me missed me now you’ve got to kiss me
If you kiss me mister you must think im pretty 
If you think so mister you must want to fuck me 
If you fuck me mister it must mean you love me 
If you love me mister you would never leave me
It’s as simple as can be

–Dresden Dolls/Missed Me

It’s not simple.

Or is it simple but not easy?

Maybe it is easy but there are several steps?

Maybe the steps are simple but have to be executed in a particular timed sequence. 

Maybe I tripped and fell down the steps. 

Maybe I stepped over the edge. 

I could have been a little too edgy. 

Some people don’t like hard edges. 

A rolled hem doesn’t have a hard edge.

You shouldn’t roll people. 

It’s illegal. 

It all started with dinner. 

Paddy asked if I wanted Parmesan for my pizza. I declined. He asked Lily if she wanted some, she said ewww because she is 8. 

Cheese, Paddy said, is good on everything. 

I concurred. 

“Is it good on apples?”

Yes. 

“Salmon?”

Yes, cream cheese. 

“Beer?”

Maybe not beer. 

“Gas cans?”

Are they clean gas cans?

“Let’s say they’ve been used by a lot of people.”

Then no. I don’t think you can count stuff that isn’t food though. 

“Ice cream?”

Yep. 

“No way.”

Remember the pear-Gorgonzola ice cream? Gorgonzola is cheese.

“Anyway, I don’t like cheese anymore.”

Why not?

“Cheese has a terrible personality!”

It does? Why is that?

“Cheese is a goody goody. Always pretending to like everyone.”

Maybe cheese is just nice. 

“No, cheese is all sophisticated.”

Sophisticated?

“Like at the Tillamook Cheese Factory. The cheese is all ‘Oooh, I am sooo fancy.’ The cheese at the Blue Heron isn’t like that at all. “

So beware of sophisticated, goody two shoes cheese. Just pretending to like everyone. Do not be fooled. 

Congratulations to two of my very favorite people, the lovely Chelle and Rick. 

They ran off to Las Vegas for a basketball tournament and got married. Basketball effects people in different ways, you know. Some people find it very romantic. Hey, don’t judge. We all have different tastes. True love is where you find it. 

Cheers, you two.

Here’s to a life time of health, happiness and hearth fires. If you’re half as happy as your kids are about this you will have the happiest marriage on Earth. I think the kids may have fallen in love before you two did. 

Seriously. These are two families who are meant to be joined. Their parents are nice, their kids are nice, their grandchildren are nice…and they are nice. And they’re all spectacular looking, too. Actually, now I kind of hate them. Oh, like anyone could hate them. 

Rick and Chelle are wonderful, caring people with great families and friends who love them. The kind of people who make sure you’re OK when things are hard and celebrate with you when things are good. The kind who make sure everyone’s wine glasses and plates are full, and make sure everyone around them is taken care of. 

So I cried some happy tears into my champagne and wished them well as hard as I could..I mean, we all knew there would be crying. 

Phone Maid of Honor Shay provided suitably blurry photos of the event. 

Kyle said it best on Facebook: “You both deserve the best. And you both got it.”

 I love you both!

Edit