The personality of cheese

It all started with dinner. 

Paddy asked if I wanted Parmesan for my pizza. I declined. He asked Lily if she wanted some, she said ewww because she is 8. 

Cheese, Paddy said, is good on everything. 

I concurred. 

“Is it good on apples?”

Yes. 

“Salmon?”

Yes, cream cheese. 

“Beer?”

Maybe not beer. 

“Gas cans?”

Are they clean gas cans?

“Let’s say they’ve been used by a lot of people.”

Then no. I don’t think you can count stuff that isn’t food though. 

“Ice cream?”

Yep. 

“No way.”

Remember the pear-Gorgonzola ice cream? Gorgonzola is cheese.

“Anyway, I don’t like cheese anymore.”

Why not?

“Cheese has a terrible personality!”

It does? Why is that?

“Cheese is a goody goody. Always pretending to like everyone.”

Maybe cheese is just nice. 

“No, cheese is all sophisticated.”

Sophisticated?

“Like at the Tillamook Cheese Factory. The cheese is all ‘Oooh, I am sooo fancy.’ The cheese at the Blue Heron isn’t like that at all. “

So beware of sophisticated, goody two shoes cheese. Just pretending to like everyone. Do not be fooled.