What the fuck is ladylike
If ladies like to do
What the fuck they like
Just like you.–Storm Large/Ladylike
Huffington Post tweeted a link tease to an article the other day entitled “6 things every woman should do.” The article was innocuous, but “every woman should” is a phrase that always makes me feel a little bit stabby.
Every woman?
Really?
There is something annoying about hearing what “every woman should do”. Generally it’s something patronizing. Maybe something about cleaning. Or makeup. Something we shouldn’t do with our own bodies.
Where are the articles telling “all human beings” they should do random stuff?
The HuffPo tease got me thinking about the events last week with Miley Cyrus. For those of you who are less plugged into the pulse of the nation than I am, there was a bit of a Twitter storm last week because Sinead O’Connor tried to give some advice to Miley Cyrus as one female in music to another. The advice was basically to not play up her sexuality as a way of getting anywhere in music because “they” would use her up and spit her out. The assumption being that the pop star was being manipulated by Evil Men running the music companies instead of making her own decisions. The young twerker called her a nutjob and was pretty much a twat about it. Another bad-ass woman in music, Amanda Palmer, replied to SInead’s open letter with one of her own indicating that sex and nudity are part of what make up being a woman, and if female artists want to use sexuality in their art it’s up to them as women. She also pointed out that Sinead should probably not just assume that it was Evil Men making the decision about what Miley should do, given that times have changed a little bit since Sinead was 20.
Which would be pretty much my position on the issue: if you want to use your body for whatever reason, I might think you’re making the wrong decision but it’s your decision to make. You making the decision is what is important.
We hear that all women should wear bras because we “need” support, and we shouldn’t attract the eyes of evildoers with our jiggling breasts. Or we hear that all women should go bra-less because the bra was invented by the Man to repress women. You’re a traitor to the feminist cause if you do wear one. You’re asking to be raped at worst and objectified at best if you don’t. Better still, if you wear the wrong kind of bra, you might still be objectified or slut shamed. I don’t know about you all, but it’s hard enough for me to get out of bed in the morning without worrying about the effect my brassiere might have on humanity. Give me a fucking break and let me put my bra on in peace.
The same thing goes for what cosmetics we choose to wear (or not), if we should have piercings or tattoos and how many children we opt to have or not have. Voice an opinion if you choose to, but know that it’s ultimately not your decision but ours as individuals.
If you want to be a stripper and a prostitute and it’s genuinely your decision then go ahead. It’s not something I would do, and I can see a lot of reasons why it’s a bad idea, but it’s not my life.
I can’t think of a thing that all women should do other than breathing, and if someone really doesn’t want to keep breathing and she made that decision on her own, even that is completely up to her.
I feel the same way about men being “manly.”
While I do love a lot of aspects of the masculine, how manly a guy is is entirely up to him. If a guy wants to wear eyeliner and floral prints, it might not make me hot personally but if he likes it who am I to judge?
How ’bout this: let’s all keep our noses out of each other’s underwear and let each other be responsible for our own decisions, behavior and bodies.